Oh, Those Seaky Ukranian Bastards

Tucker Carlson: "I'm gonna be the bestest, most traitorest Putin fuck-puppet ever!"

Devin Nunes: "Hold my beer."

Lindsay Graham: "No, hold MY beer!"

Mitch McConnell: "Hold my six-pack."

Bill Barr: "Hold my keg."

Trump: "Hold my Budweiser Clydesdale beer cart."

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Lindsay Graham: "Trump, it's become clear to me and my fellow Senators that you need to resign."

Trump: "You forget something, Lindsay. I have a secret about you that could ruin you."

Graham: "Very well. Do your worst."

Trump: "Hey, everybody! Lindsay likes boys! He's one of THOSE kind of guys. Oooh, isn't that icky?"

Everybody: "And? You mean... that's it?"

Trump: "Uh-oh."

(Editors note: The part about Graham growing a spine is a total work of fiction. Do not get your hopes up.)

=Lefty=