Calling
All Offs!
It was early in the days
of the Garden of Eden that
Adam noticed that certain
sounds and fluids emanated
from holes
in his head. Being it was
his job to name everything
he first decided to call
the water that flowed from
his
eyes
"tears.
Next, he called
the drooly stuff that ran
out of his nose "snot". As
for the sound his nose occasionally
made, especially after he
sniffed the pretty flowers,
he declared it a "sneeze".
However, when his throat
was dry or his chest was
congested a loud, raspy bellow
would often escape his mouth
hole. He thought and thought
and
thought about what best to
call it. Just then a ewe
and an aye-aye appeared and
offered their assistance.
They both suggested that
Adam call the sound a "potato".
Adam thought about this for
a moment but then suddenly
brightened as he said "Ewe
say
potato and aye-aye
say
potato but let's call the
hole thing "cough".
Thank you! I'll be here all
week.
------------
I've never had much luck
with comments on Reddit.
My ripostes are usually
a bit
out of step with millennial
tastes. However, today in
/r/askreddit we were asked
to describe our favorite
movies in limerick form without
revealing the actual title
of the film and my answer
received a staggering 10,000+
up-boats, more
than I've ever gotten at
one time. My limerick?
I'm
glad you asked:
I am Groot, I am Groot, I
am Groot.
I am Groot, I am Groot, I
am Groot.
I am Groot, I am Groot.
I am Groot, I am Groot.
I am Groot, I am Groot, I
am Groot.
The funny thing is my favorite
movie
of all time is "The
Music Man", the originaly
version staring Robert Preston.
(Yeah, I'm
weird.) I also wrote
a limerick for it, too, but
it only garnered three up-clicks
so I'm going to make you
suffer through it, too.
Enjoy:
In Iowa the people were droopy
Then a fraud got a librarian
groupie
He took a grand stand
And sold them a band
Now they all dance the Shapoopie.
If you think I'm odd for
liking this film keep in
mind that Seth McFarland
animated the entire Shapoopie sequence
in an episode of "Family
Guy".
------------
I am the Red Hen. I am Maxine Waters.
I am Patricia Okoumou. I am Kristin
Mink. I am Robert De Niro. I am David
Hogg. I am Emma Gonzelez. I am Mike
Avenetti. I am Stormy Daniels. I
am Rachel Maddow.
Fuck Trump.
=Lefty=
|
