Face
The Music
 Facebook
has become sort of a necessary evil these days. It
sucks, everyone knows it sucks, but everyone is also
expected to show up and regurgitate all of their most
intimate
secrets
for
the
benefit
of their friends and family.... not to mention FB's
hefty profit margin.
What? You didn't know there's money, LOTS of money,
to be made in them thar data-mined hills? Friend, everything
you post on your Wall is like money in the bank for
FB's advertising pals. It's like we're just begging
to be part of a grand experiment to see just how much
crap
we
can
be induced to buy, and all against our better natures.
It honestly rankles my sensitive proclivities that
they use us as raw material, so you know what we should
all do? We need to alter where
we live,
what language we speak, how
many children
we
might
or
might not
have. Change your religion, your sex, your age and,
most importantly, your shoe size. Change everything.
Your friends will know the difference and everyone
else won't care.
So bring up the search bar and insert the most ridiculous
keywords possible, like "shoehorn", "pimples",
or "Olduvai
gorge". Then, no matter what pops up, hit the "Like"
button.
Currently, according to Facebook, I root for the Manitoba
Moose and the Irish Rugby Team. I listen to Luxury
Cruise
Missile
and I'm
a fan of mooncups, underpants and Tootsie Pops. Whoo-hoo!
------------
Hello Down There!
 Do
you know why we have yet to verify the existence of
what we commonly refer to as "UFO's"?
It's mainly because our solar system is way out in
the biggest middle-of-nowhere ever. But it's also
highly probable that if we're ever visited by extraterrestrials
they won't be arriving
in something
so primitive as a flying saucer. Most likely it'll
be something our primitive brains wouldn't recognize
as a conveyance. Any
form of vehicle that can traverse the vast inky void
will not look like anything we're used to.
As an example, if you traveled back in time in
an F16 and landed it quietly near the outskirts
of
a
17th
century
Parisian village I dare say none of the locals chancing
upon it on their way to milk the cows, or drop dead
of the plague, would ever understand its true purpose.
Who knows? We could be staring out our telescopes at
a whole fleet of intergalactic cruisers but have simply
mistaken them
for swamp gas or lenticular clouds or that ball of
dust under the sofa, the one that's humming ever so
softly.
Just sayin'.
=Lefty=
------------
Republican Job Creation Update
 "We're
going to have a relentless focus on creating jobs." -
John Boehner, February 10, 2011.
The following is #70 in a list of Republican
job creation activities
since they gained control of the House in 2011. None,
sad to
say,
have
yet to result in one, single new job.
(70) 8-24-2011: The GOP has been quiet on the job front
lately so I have a request of Republican Presidential
candidate Rick Perry...
Re-invest in your porno
companies,
Rick.
It
doesn't have to be a large investment but at the very
least you'd put a few porn stars back on the
cock, uh, I mean clock. Heck, if you're lucky they
might even name a new position after you, one that
no doubt involves anal lube.
------------
Dump Fox News
 And
what manner of lie is Fox News spewing today? At
first they don't begrudge
the president a vacation....
and
then they do. Funny people, just not "ha-ha" funny.
Click here to help Drop
Fox from your cable system.
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