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The progressive web comic about the Republican House Intelligence Committee.

start rant

The Mango Maelstrom

The Mango Whore-Monger is probably bummed that there won't be any tanks in his parade, though he seems to be mollified by the promise of a large "air contingent".

I'd like to suggest that this 'contingent' be comprised of thousands of helium balloons on long strings, each wielded by a true progressive American, and from each balloon dangles a sign saying "Fuck Trump", possibly something even more appropriately scatological. Think what a heart-warming surprise it will be for all the great-great-grandparents, Fox News' most vital demographic, watching the parade as they dig for scraps from their Republican-issued 'harvest boxes'.


The manner in which House Republicans handled the Russian investigation was a joke, but it did it's job. Here's how my local NBC affiliate (KXAS) shared the news last night, spending all of 15 seconds:

"The House Intelligence Committee has determined there was no collusion between the Russians and President Trump. House Democrats say House Republicans are engaging in partisan politics. In other news, has a local family has found a gator in their crick?"

I wish I was making this up.


It's been quite the day-and-a-half.

First, on Monday, the Republican House introduced an unexpected new brand of toilet paper called "The Russian Investigation", one which was designed primarily to wipe Tricky McDictator clean of Putin's trademark shtinkum, though its secondary purpose was apparently to intoxicate, with its heady aroma of desperation and vodka, the Pennsylvania electorate into voting for a Republican candidate who is a little less "abortiony" than his predecessor, believe it or not.

Then today, Tuesday or, as progressive's like to call it "Another Day of Eating That Goddamn Popcorn", the Propecia Potentate began ejecting staff from the White House faster than a clown car with explosive diarrhea.

The toll so far is a Secretary of State, his immediate underling, Fat Boy's personal aide, the head of the ICE in California and the head of the VA. Experts suggest that four more heads might also roll, including a Security Advisor and a Chief of Staff.

So much winning.

The word "hysteria" comes to immediately to mind, a word originally associated with female hormonal imbalances. Considering Fat Boy has done all his dirty work today through Tweets I guess it takes a big pussy to hysterically grab one.

Good luck, Mr. Lamb!


end rant

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The Republican House Intelligence Committee
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investigates russian interference