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The progressive web comic about biblical history.

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Juvenile Fiction

Today is Day Eighteen of "Is It 2020 Yet?" month here at Raging Pencils. Today's 'toon hails from September 5, 2014.


Someone once described the gospels of Mark, Luke, Matthew and John this way:

It was as if someone born in 1973 decided to write the story of Watergate in 2014 relying only oral histories. And the writer was a Republican.

My favorite part of the crucifixion story is when Jesus dies and the city is beset by earthquakes, and then the dead saints rise from their graves and start walking around. And no one seems to care. Mary reportedly just stands on a nearby hill, calmly taking it all in, not losing her shit, as you might expect, over her sons grisly death and all this unusual spectral activity.

No wonder no one takes this book seriously.


"Donald Trump didn’t so much stumble coming out of the gate, as collide with the gate, pause to scream at the gate, run back through the gate in the wrong direction, and send his surrogates forth to complain that it was all the gate’s fault." - Mark Sumner


Four years ago Trump called the re-election of Mr. Obama a travesty and demanded that the people march on Washington.

Yes, he really did.


The rich, bratty little girl posing as president claimed, while visiting the CIA, that he/she's been on the cover of Time Magazine fifteen times.

" A record!" he/she said.

The truth?

Nixon: 55 times
Hillary Clinton: 18 times
Bratty little girl: 11 times


The next Star Wars movie is going to be titled "The Last Jedi."

Hope springs eternal.


For the record:

Number of Trump-loving Facebook Friends Unfriended This Week: 4


end rant

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Jesus? Sure, we grew up together. Best sole repairman in Jerusalem. He once even heeled a leper. We called him "King of the Shoes". His specialty was rabbit pelts and he would dye four hare skins. His dream was to travel, though. He called it a "cruise fiction", but after he got nailed in a crosswalk by Pilate's Pontiac he admitted he was whipped and went home to work for his father.
How Biblical history worked.
Borrrring! I'll just edit it later.