The
Unicorn Snood
Today is Day Thirteen
of my month of R&R,
in which I lean heavily on previously created content
to mollify the anxious progressive masses.
This particular 'toon hails from January 30, 2013.
---------
Bzzzzzzz!
"Miss Wilkins? Could you ask the unicorns to
come into my office, please?"
"Right away, Lord!"
"Ah! Frank! Janice! Nice to see you. Those horns
look better every time I see them. I'm glad they're
in the
center of your forehead instead of on your behinds."
"Our... behinds, Lord?"
"Yes. While I was tinkering with your initial
design the boys in engineering had a bug up their butt
about aerodynamics
and thought
the
head-mounted
horn
would
impede your
laminar airflow but I told them to stick it where the
sun don't shine. And I know about sunless environments,
believe you me."
"Ain't that the truth, Lord! So, uh, what would
you like to see us about?"
"Well, to get right down to brass tacks the two
kids, Adam and Eve, you know them, they live down by
The Big
Tree, are having a sort of going-away party tomorrow
and I need both of your skins in order to make some
clothing for them as a parting gift."
"Our... skin.... sir?"
"Yes, you hide. Your skin. Your outer layer. Whatever
you call it."
"Begging your pardon, Lord, but you want to put
our skin over their skin? Don't they already have skin?
Last
time
I checked
they met all the skin requirements that I'm aware of.
Besides, don't Janice and I sort of, you know, need
our skin to keep out guts from flopping around and
all?"
"Yes, I know this seems all strange and new but,
trust me, it's for the best. So if you'll just go down
to
Human Resources and sign a few forms we'll get this
old ball rolling."
"So that's how it is, huh? We've been with this
company since the very beginning and now you're just
gonna
throw us to the wolves without a by your leave? Well,
you're going have to do better than that, pal! I know
my rights! What about our benefits? What happens to
our pension? How would like this horn where the laminar
don't flow?"
"Now Frank..."
"Back off, Janice!"
"Security!"
"Oh, sure! Sic your goons on us! But
you'll be hearing from my lawyer! I will take this
world and
everything on it before I'm done! Just you wait! I'm
gonna... HEY! Getcher hands off me!"
"Okay, pal. Calm down. Taaaake it easy. Everything's
gonna be just fine and dandy. Now you two just come
with us downstairs to the nice offices and we'll
sign some
nice papers
and everything will be nice again. Okay?"
"Okay! Fine! C'mon, Janice! Let's get out of this
two-bit paradise before someone sucks our eyeballs
out, too."
Slam!
Bzzzzzzzzzz.
"Wilkins! Are they gone?"
"Yes, sir. I'll let you know when they arrive
at processing."
"Fine. Anything else on the agenda for today?"
"Yes, Lord. R&D needs your okay on these plumbing
designs for the emergency flooding system, and marketing
has a new rainbow prototype they're anxious to run
by a focus group or two."
"Excellent! Just let me hit the old can and I'll
be with them shortly."
"Oh, uh, Lord? Before you go, I've been
handed a memo. It appears that the unicorns have eaten
of
the fruit of the Tree of Knowledge, are aware of their
nakedness, and are now demanding skins of their own.
What should I tell them?"
"Tell them touche', Miss Wilkins. Touche', indeed."
=Lefty=
|