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The progressive web comic about the history of the Second Amendment
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The Other Second Amendment

Believe it or not, I'm going to be an advocate for gun ownership. Yes, I know that blows your little minds, it certainly blew mine, but bear with me as I explain.

First, for those unfamiliar with the Second Amendment it does not read as follow:

"YOU get a gun! And YOU get a gun! And YOU get a gun! And YOU get a gun!"

Yes, I know. The Second Amendment says "the people have the right to keep and bear arms" but it also has all them dang "clause" things that make a redneck's brain throb. These clauses are important, too, though the NRA would have you believe that "a well regulated militia" means the same thing as "garden fairies"or "ask your mother". In others words, something inconsequential to a god-fearing man with a gun in his hand and justice to mete out.


Keep in mind that the "militias" mentioned in Amendment Numero Dos were far different from the National Guard we have today. Back in the "good old days" of the Deep South the slave states employed ad hoc groups of armed men who would keep the slaves in check. I'm guessing that "shoot to kill" was Chapter One in the Slave-Owner's Handbook.

Unfortunately for our southern brothers the proposed Constitution gave the proposed new federal government broad powers when it came to national security and our southern fore bearers were positively miffed about the prospect of losing their favorite sport so, therefore, Tah-dah! Second Amendment.

Still confused? Then perhaps now would be a good time to inspect the original version of the Second Amendment:

"The right of the people to keep and bear arms shall not be infringed; a well armed, and well regulated militia being the best security of a free country: but no person religiously scrupulous of bearing arms, shall be compelled to render military service in person."

As you can see, this is not a about individual ownership of guns, to do with whatever the people wished. It's about citizens of the individual states being in service TO the country (which was later changed to "state", which does NOT mean "country", in case you're a blithering idiot or a member of the NRA) with an option to avoid such service for religious reasons.

Clearly the Second Amendment's intent is not meant to guarantee guns to anyone with a pulse, but this is a free country and guns should be available to anyone who wants them, just as are toasters and microwave ovens. But this means the government should be able to freely regulate them the same way it regulates all potentially dangerous consumer goods. Classic hunting rifles and shotguns would, of course, have their legitimate place in the world but not handguns or assault weaponry. Those are purely tools of mayhem no different than a slab of C4 or a van full of ammonium nitrate.

Oh, by the way, the reason Kennedy was assassinated by someone using a single-shot rifle, whether from the knoll or the 6th floor, was accuracy. So if you claim you need an assault rifle to kill Bambi, fuck you!

You want a gun? Get one. But let's require insurance, registration, and proper training, anything that will help take them out of the hands of hotheads, criminals, and the mentally unstable.

It's a start.


end rant

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James Madison, the southern states refuse to ratify the Constitution.
It's Article one, isn't it?
Yes, they fear it would impair their slave patrols, perhaps even prohibit them.
How about an Amendment which assures the states the right to maintain these armed militias?
Perfect! And after abolition the question becomes academic.
Yes. What could possibly go wrong?

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