Doing
My Duty
 By
the time most of you read this my butt
will be in custody of the local legal
authorities.
Yes, I have jury duty.
Sigh.
That's
what I get for voting. (They cull the
voting rolls
around here for prospective
jurors, which explains
why the assembled juror pools seldom
sport any cute chicks, just wizened
geriatrics
like me.)
The last time
they called me for JD was three years
ago when I was chosen to adjudicate
a civil
case that had no business wasting anyone's
time.
It took two days for all the evidence
to be presented and ten minutes to
decide against the plaintiff's case. And
most of that was spent walking to and
from our tribunal cloister.
It seems like only yesterday but I
guess three years is long enough.
It's a tedious
process
but
it's the
price we pay for a civilized society.
This year, though, I'm coming prepared.
A few months ago I was casing the local
thrift
stores
for interesting t-shirts when I found
a like-new promo shirt for a 1995 Pauly
Shore movie called "Jury Duty".
It's beautiful. An alabaster-white
shirt
with big,
red, double-trucked words stating
"JURY DUTY" on the front
in an elegant serif. On the back, nothing.
Perfect.
I'm
not wearing it today because no one
in their right mind would call undue
attention to themselves during
the voir dire but if I "survive" the
culling I'll wear
it
Tuesday.
As far as I know there's no rule against
messages on imprinted shirts, within
reason, just shorts and flip-flops.
Personally,
I think the courts ought to give all
jury members a free shirt like this
one instead
of that crummy little badge. At the
very least it'd ensure lots more of
these things in the thrift shops.
----------
UPDATE: I and seventy-six
other lucky prospective jurors were
called for
a capital murder case, possibly perpetrated
by a middle-aged woman. Yikes! Our
group had to fill out a long form
explaining
how
we feel about the legal process as
the prosecution was seeking the death
penalty (This is, after all, Texas.)
I was the first one they struck off
the list mostly, I believe, because
I'm staunchly anti-death penalty.
See?
It pays to be liberal.
=Lefty=
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