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The comic about Noah's ark.
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Fear of Wetness

noahs dilemmaThe Biblical flood tale found in Genesis was predated by a much older Mesopotamian story called "The Epic of Gilgamesh", a portion of which I laboriously copied and pasted from Wikipedia for your reading pleasure. See if you can spot the similarities:

"The god Ea told Utnapishtim to build a boat. He gave him precise dimensions, and it was sealed with pitch and bitumen. His entire family went aboard together with his craftsmen and "all the animals of the field". A violent storm then arose which caused the terrified gods to retreat to the heavens. Ishtar lamented the wholesale destruction of humanity, and the other gods wept beside her. The storm lasted six days and nights, after which "all the human beings turned to clay".

Utnapishtim weeps when he sees the destruction. His boat lodges on a mountain, and he releases a dove, a swallow, and a raven. When the raven fails to return, he opens the ark and frees its inhabitants. Utnapishtim offers a sacrifice to the gods, who smell the sweet savor and gather around. Ishtar vows that just as she will never forget the brilliant necklace that hangs around her neck, she will always remember this time."


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Noah and the ark.
Know ye, Noah, that I shall flood the earth with rain for 40 days and 40 nights.
Or open the primordial floodgates for 150 days and 150 nights.
You know, six of one, half a dozen of the other.
And you shall take two of each animal on the ark.
Strike that, make it seven pairs of animals.
By that I mean seven pairs of clean animals
And just a single pair of the unclean ones. Got it?
Then, when the waters recede, release a raven.
No wait! A dove! A dove would be like so cool!
Once ashore sacrifice some of the animals to my aweomeness.
After all, what's more important? me or the gene pool? Right, Noah?

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