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Beat the Meat

meat marketI got to thinking the other day about the pros and cons of eating meat and, apart from its basic nutritive qualities I could only think of one good reason:

Meat tastes good.

To this I need to add "Yes, but only after the meat has been properly and carefully prepared, I.E. killed, gutted, deboned, fried, fricasseed, stewed, barbequed, sauced, seasoned and served on a sesame seed bun. After all, no sane human simply rips a leg off a cow or a chicken and chows down. Even bacon, which is essentially candied meat, is most palatable only when it's been processed with sucrose and the smoke of burned trees."

Also, lots of things taste good, like chocolate and vodka, but they're not the best dietary choice.

As for the cons of eating meat how about increased rates of heart disease and colon cancer, just to start? Then there's salmonella, mad cow disease, and trichinosis. The American predilection for hamburgers has resulted in the continuing destruction of the rain forest, the poisoning of the water table with phosphates, massive depletion of fresh water resources (2500 gallons of water are required to make one pound of beef), climate change from increased methane production (cow farts), beef full of antibiotics (which research seems to indicate tend to make humans fat) and all for "meat" that is adulterated with who knows what.

The idea of meat at every meal is an invention of contemporary meat industry marketing and convenient refrigeration. Before the discovery of electricity meat was a much rarer commodity. So save the planet and order the eggplant parmigiana instead of the veal next time. It's just that easy.


end rant

The whole time I'm drawing the waitress in this cartoon all I could think about was Elaine Stritch.

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Google Chow (Eat hearty, little Google-bots!)

Man customer, dog waitress.
Janice: Welcome to Cafe Carnivore. The finest in small helpless animals. You want yours alive or freshly killed?
Customer: Uhh, can I get mine cooked?
Janice: Oh, sure thing, honey. You want me to chew it for you, too?
caption: Janice was always a little testy with guys from the wrong side of the digestive tracts.

Overturn Citizens United