You Bet Jurassic

It might suprise you to learn that moviegoers around the globe have spent more than two billion dollars to see the first three Jurassic Park films. They've also spent billions more on VHS tapes, DVDs, and all manner of dino-related merchandise. Conservatively, we're talking five billion dollars or more on a fantasy film about extinct creatures.

In contrast, Donald Trump has spent more on one of his bathrooms than we've spent keeping the rhinos from going extinct, and that's not working out so well as the northern white rhino is history the moment the current five live specimens inevitably kick the bucket.

If we could actually clone a species back into existence the northern white rhino would be a great place to start, but that's not gonna happen. All the science, or all the prayer in the world, won't save them. The truth is, the vast majority of the world's population just doesn't care about the rhino, but a tiny, vicious, idiotic sliver of that population is currrently buzz-sawing through what's left of the rhino because they think its horn, the literal equivalent of toenail clippings, will cure cancer.

So allow me to suggest to Steven Spielberg, executive producer of the upcoming Jurassic World, someone who's about to make a lot more money furthering the fantasy that cloning cures all, that perhaps he take a portion of the immense proceeds the film will no doubt rake in and donate some of it towards the furtherance of endangered species, not the least of which is our little pointy-nosed friend.

Just sayin'.

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Bonush Cartoon Alert: Yes! It's Bonush Cartoon Day, you lucky person, you.

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Because I lurve you all here's the fifth 20-minute chunk of Glenn Mitchell's twelve-hour Xmas Blockbuster, circa 2001, featuring a snappy Broadway ditty, an appearance by the Rat Pack, a celebration of Hanukkah by Adam Sandler, and an explanation of why we celebrate Xmas on the 25th.



=Lefty=