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Oh, Lord.

stan frebecross of goldTo be honest, my family has never been very religious, especially not the kind that would take a moment before breaking bread to thank any particular deity for whatever mess o'
vittles happened to be slopped in our respective troughs. Pragmatically speaking, with eight brothers and sisters that brief conversation with Jebus could mean the difference between a fat drumstick and a scrawny, stringy wing.

Therefore it was with some surprise when, some years ago, after decades of showing no inclination towards the sacred, one of my many nieces suddenly clasped Jebus to her heaving bosom. From my modestly cynical point of view it was less her desire to someday climb Jacob's Ladder and play pinochle at god's right hand than it was to have a socially acceptable cudgel of fear and guilt to wield on her two burgeoning progeny.

At last the day finally arrived when, at a not-so-distant Thanksgiving get-together, said niece asked to join her in prayer before we all tucked into our heaping plates of gobbley goodness. It was the usual benediction, full of gratefulness for the assembled family and all that god has given us, etc., etc., amen.

I waited for the noxious poot of smug piety to waft upwards into the cobwebs and then it was my turn.

"And thank you, lord, for the tornadoes that wipe out the trailer parks full of poor people. Thank you for strokes and cancer and crib death. Thank you for the appendix, male nipples, wisdom teeth, and that little fish that likes to swim up the urethra. Thank you for plagues, floods, drought, the Iraq war, and Jerry Jones. Thank you for faith healers, snake-handlers and the systematic rape of unknown thousands of choir boys. But most of all, lord, thank you for keeping me fat and happy while millions of children starve to death. Hallelujah!"

We've had no prayers since.


While I'm being an insufferable little shit, it seems that a recent Time Magazine article, written by Joe Klein, took a nasty shot at atheists for not showing up in force to help the victims of the recent tornadoes in Oklahoma.

As it turns out, Joe was wrong. Really wrong. As commentator Hemant Mehta put it "Maybe these [Humanist] groups have no tax exempt status and therefore can’t exactly afford to have the t-shirts for everyone to wear so that you know when they are out in force during a volunteer effort."


end rant


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Me:"Dear lord, thank you for the food we are about to receive and the many blessings you bestow upon us each day. Amen... hotep. (amenhotep)

One of the less obnoxious reasons I'm no longer allowed to say grace.

Overturn Citizens United