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Pass The Buck

list of charitiesI think it's clear to many of us that "minimum wage" is an inexact description. It should be called "maximum profits" as it's designed to benefit the owner, not the worker. A set minimum wage turns an employee into a widget, a perfect little cog in the accounting machine, exactly the same as office supplies and toilet paper. And just as expendable.

Since the government lacks the political will to force employers to pay a living wage, which might increase the cost of your Quarter Pounder by an unthinkable couple of cents, might I suggest that the next time you encounter an employee you're pretty certain is working for federally-mandated peanuts, and yet is still working their little buns off, that you quietly slip them an extra buck when you pay for your burger or your copies. This is not a tip, this is a token of appreciation. It's something even Jesus might do. Or Cthuhlu.

By the way, for all you guys not tipping your waiters, FUCK YOU! Tip those folks or stay out of places where decent people eat. Park in the alleys behind the 7-11 and gorge yourself on frozen burritos, you useless twats.

But I digress.

The dual benefit of sharing a little of one's wealth, very little, is that not only will the poor bastards behind the counter have a few extra bucks at the end of the week but it will encourage them to serve the customer better in future in hopes of additional merit rewards. That's called "win-win", chaps and chappettes. And what's a buck or two nowadays... unless, of course, you're trapped behind a cash register all day, deciding whether to pay the doctor or the electric company.

If you think about it, such donations could make the difference in keeping a family in their home. Wouldn't you rather see them at work than standing by the side of the road?

Unfortunately, it wouldn't take long for employers to catch on to this avenue of generosity and use it as an excuse to reduce employee wages even more. There would even be the occasional total bastard who'd demand his charges fork over their gratuities. Head first into the fry machine for them, says I.

Anyway, think about. Certainly can't hurt and you might even sleep better for the effort.


One last thing... today's comic almost didn't make it as my beloved 9-year-old Mac G5 suffered a sudden attack of circuitboard thrombosis and collapsed in the middle of an otherwise normal Save. Valiant efforts to resuscitate proved fruitless and the patient was declared DOA at approximately 5:15 PM. It provided faultless, yeoman's service over the years and I offer not grief, but gratitude.

It is survived by a Mac Plus, an SE/30, a 7500/75, three iPods, a G3 clamshell, and a G4 Cube. In lieu of flowers the family is requesting donations be sent to Raging Pencils Replacement Computer Scam Fund.

(Note: Because a surprising number of visitors have inquired, yes, I'll be very happy to accept your commiserative generosity. To that effect, you'll find a nearly invisible "Donate" button at the top of almost every page of Raging Pencils. And thank you.)


end rant

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Today's Google Chow.

Applicant: Only $8.25 an hour?

Boss: I'm sorry, but the minimum wage prevents me from paying you what you're actually worth.

Applicant: Really? So if there was no minimum wage how much would you pay me?

Boss: Nothing.

Overturn Citizens United