Happy
Everything!
 Holidays
are a boon to the working cartoonist as they allow us
to frack the almost limitless veins of nostalgia and bizarre
customs
that attach themselves to such emotional occasions. After
all, why create original material when you can make endless
gags about fruit cakes and/or matzo balls?
In fact, if America celebrated a major holiday every three
weeks cartoonists could basically go on auto-pilot. So
let's move Xmas back into late February where it arguably
belongs and anchor Easter to a single reliable date instead
of letting
it freelance all over the calendar. Let's lock Hanukah
to mid-December (Hey! We can ALL be Jewish for 7 days!) then
give the 25th back to the pagans, and we'll all celebrate
Saturnalia. It's
an orgy, baby! Who's gonna complain?
Kwanzaa is an artificial holiday (not unlike Xmas) so it
can appear anywhere, so let's shift it to mid-June where
it's
a natural
fit
with Juneteenth (Yes, it's a thing!). The seven core principals
are actually a good idea but they get lost under all that
December chaos.
So this means that if we all start taking Veterans Day
and Columbus Day more seriously, and by that I mean getting
gifts,
alcohol
and/or partial nudity into the mix, we can party
hearty all year long.
=Lefty=
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