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Fun With Mr. Buzz-Kill

runaway greenhouse effect"Incontrovertible" is not a kind of car. It means something that cannot be denied or disputed... like evidence that humankind is directly responsible for soaring amounts of greenhouse gases into the atmosphere, the side-effect of which is rising temperatures, melting ice-caps, and future mass-extinction of, you know, us.

You may have your eyes closed and your fingers in your ears going "LA-LA-LA! LOOK AT MY NEW SUV AND MY BIG-SCREEN TV AND GODDAMIT SOMEBODY TURN UP THE AC!" at the top of your lungs but, whether you accept the data or not, the Earth is currently racing past the tipping point for the greenhouse effect.

Let me say that again because it's kind of important.... we're past the tipping point for the type of ongoing environmental disaster that will spell the end of NFL football.

Do I have your attention? Good.

Unless we take drastic steps to lower the rate of greenhouse gas emissions immediately global temperatures will, by the end of this century, soar to levels not seen since the Permian-Triassic extinction event die-off 250 million years ago, when fully 90% of all species on Earth perished. For those that missed the inference that means another 90% die-off... or 90% of what we haven't already driven into extinction by then.

Awww, but what do we care? Barring major advancements in human longevity none of us, nor many of our children, will be around to suffer through the final days of mankind's miserable slog on Earth. Let's dance and be jolly while the oceans boil.

On the bright side, and there is one for those who care about the continuation of the species, here are three simple things you can do to help stave off disaster:

(1) Stop eating meat, or vastly reduce your intake. The protein pipeline is rife with greenhouse gases.

(2) Insist that your country, and all countries, begin investing heavily in renewable energy, both solar and wind. The sooner we remove coal and crude oil from the energy matrix, the better.

(3) Suffer a little. If you're lucky enough to have a thermostat, set it in the high-80s in summer and the mid-60s in winter. You can do this. (However, if you generate your own renewable energy supply, go nuts.)

It would also help if we start taking population control seriously. In America, let's limit the tax benefit for the number of children at two. Have all you want, but pay for them yourself.

And, to a lesser degree, we need to reduce our Pavlovian response to all the shiny new gadgets that appear in the marketplace. We are, after all, a country that has elevated the hoarding of consumer goods to an art form, but all that novel new technology requires both energy and natural resources, each of which come with a price at the expense of the environment. It therefore makes sense to mandate standards for the manufacture of major goods that require them to not only last longer but make them easy to repair.

Above all, we need to stop wasting trillions of dollars fighting wars for the benefit of oil companies and marshal our resources against our real enemies... methane and CO2.

If you have other useful suggestions, apart from building vast fleets of interstellar spaceships to ferry us all to the next poor, humanity-benighted planet, I welcome you to offer them in the comment section below.


end rant

Forgive the way-too-serious background music and listen to the climate experts. They're not making a proft on this deal.


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