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Adam discovers the clitoris
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Genesis II

And God said "I will make your pains in childbearing very severe; with painful labor you will give birth to children.
Your desire will be for your husband, and he will rule over you."

And Eve said "Dude, you're already kicking us out of Paradise into the thorns and thistles. Give me one good reason I need to follow your arbitrary rules and be a subservient little broodmare for Doofus over there."

"Because," God said, "what else would you do?"

"I'll tell you, Jasper. Out beyond those flaming swords I see a big wide, wonderful world, and I can't wait to explore every one of its four corners. And though I may eventually starve to death wandering lost among the many mysteries this planet holds it certainly beats sitting in a mud hut with a brace of ninos sucking the life out of these fabulous knockers you fashioned for me."

"But you must bring children into this world, my child. It's why I created you."

"Ah, my marvelous reproductive system. Babies and stuff. Yes, I get it, but am I to bear young just so that they may bear young just so that their young will bear young? Do we only stop having children when there's no more room left on this planet? What is the ultimate point of such a system?"

"It's because I have plans for you, my children."

"Plans? Why, that would mean you expected us to eat the fruit of the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil all along, so pardon me if I don't flop over in a swoon anytime soon and offer up my virgin nethers to Captain Tightpants. Or Tight Figleaf... or whatever."

"Okay, Eve. You win. Go explore this Earth. I'm sure that someday you will find value in what Adam has to offer."

"You mean those things he's making from old animal hides? I don't even..."

"They're called 'shoes'", said God, as he smiled quietly to himself.


end rant

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Today's Google Chow.

God: ..and ye shall bear your children in sorrow, and your husband shall have dominion over you.
Eve: But what if I don't like those rules?
God: Tough beans.
Eve: Okay, then. I'm an atheist.
God: Poof.
Adam: I... have much to learn.
Eve: That's true. Might as well start with the clitoris..

Overturn Citizens United