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Loafing Around

gloria fosterI'm a vegetarian but not the kind that stands outside of Whole Foods at daybreak, waiting impatiently for the doors to open so that I can be assured of buying the freshest possible organic kohlrabi. I am, instead, the kind that simply avoids the meat section at my local grocer.

I'm fussy about my bread, though. If it's not stone-ground wheat then it might as well be that white, spongy excuse for bread that used to "build strong bodies twelve ways" until the FCC cracked down on the manufacturer's advertising department. Plain old "whole wheat" ain't gonna cut it. The price of this pickiness means bread that sometimes costs $4 a loaf. Seems excessive.

So last week I stopped at a garage sale and my curiosity was piqued by a bread-making machine, a Black & Decker B1516. It was like new, with instructions, and only $15. (And it's a B&D so, you know, "manly". Right?) I know someone who swears by these things so I purchased it, brought it home, and proceeded to make bread.

I always thought you had to be a lazy douche-wad to own a bread maker as anyone serious about their food would make it the old-fashioned way. But so far it's been fun, sort of like a domestic science experiment. There's more variation to the process than I thought and lots of recipes in the manual, though every other word seems to be "gluten". I have no idea what that is but it must be important.

From an operational standpoint it is, fortunately for me, bone-head simple. Just add the ingredients, choose the type of bread (white or whole wheat) and press "Start". A loaf of white bread can take as little as two hours to make but the whole-wheat version that I prefer takes four hours, much of that time spent allowing the yeast to break the germ, endogerm and bran down into something digestible.

The two loaves it's made so far are averaging $10 apiece but that cost will plunge as I make more. (By the sixteenth loaf, or sooner, I should be at the $2 mark). The bread itself is tasty and free of preservatives so, on balance, it looks like I have a new countertop-hogging pal.


are you registered to vote?Will you be voting absentee this November but don't know what to do about it?

Then check out the Long Distance Voter. Not only can you register to vote, and verify your registration, you can also request an absentee ballot.


end rant

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Oh, That Mitt.

eat shit, America!Gawker.com just published
"more than 950 pages of Mitt Romney's internal audits, financial statements, and private investor letters for 21 cryptically named entities in which Romney had invested." Lots of interesting stuff.


If you're a reporter and you want to interview Mitt you can't ask him about Todd Akin or abortion. Them's the rules.


Mitt Romney has lied about Medicare, Bain Capital, and his taxes. Why start believing him now?


So why doesn't Mitt want to releases his taxes? His latest excuse is that he doesn't want anyone to know how much he's given to his church. Oh, Mitt. Did you have to make your wife lie for you?


Today's video: Mulvar Is Correct Candidate! You will watch now, yes?

An exclusive Raging Pencils bumper-sticker!
do gop in my white house bumper sticker
Get yours now at zazzle.com


President Obama's Top 50 Accomplishments

Number 30: Gave the FDA Power to Regulate Tobacco

barack obama's top 50 accomplishmentsSigned the Family Smoking Prevention and Tobacco Control Act (2009). Nine years in the making and long resisted by the tobacco industry, the law mandates that tobacco manufacturers disclose all ingredients, obtain FDA approval for new tobacco products, and expand the size and prominence of cigarette warning labels, and bans the sale of misleadingly labeled “light” cigarette brands and tobacco sponsorship of entertainment events.

For the full list of his 50 finest achievements read the Washington Monthly story.


And now our Chart of the Day: Missions To Mars

missions to mars chart

Immense version of chart here.


Republican Job Creation Update

republican job creationCongress is in recess until early September. No jobs are being created, no farms are being saved.

For the full 2001-2012 list of Republican sloth please visit republicanjobcreation.com.


Fox News Lies. Dump Fox News

Fox News Lies!
Fox News: "No woman should aspire to be like Sandra Fluke."

Really, Fox News? Are you really that socially retarded? Yes. Yes you are.

Click here to help Drop Fox from your cable system.


If you enjoy Raging Pencils, might I also recommend:
born again pagan
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Can't make sense of the news? Try our selection of progressive nosh:
DailykosCrooks and LiarsThink ProgressTalking Points Memo

Today's Google Chow.

Martian: "Mars needs women!"

Woman: "Why? So you can just use us as sex slaves?"

Martian: "Oh, HELLZ no! We need someone to run the planet. We're terrible at it and women are undervalued here. Besides, we offer medical, dental, and a 401k plan."

Caption: Twenty-four hours later:

TV: "And, in economic news, Fleshlight Corporation overtakes Apple as world's most valuable company."

Horny guy: "Heeeeeeeeere, kitty-kitty-kitty."

Overturn Citizens United