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Better Never Than Late.

iron jesusAccording to the Bible, Jesus, as we in the western hemisphere affectionately call him, was born the son of god. Everyone apparently was in on this as those damn angels wouldn't shut up about it. They even blabbed to the freaking shepherds, and you have to go pretty far down the media food chain before you reach the guys sodomizing your dinner.

Eventually a group of kings showed up, yadda-yadda-yadda, and then afterwards Jesus sort of vanished.

Think about that.

People back then are about the same as people nowadays as they're always looking for a piece of the action, and Jesus, better known as "Jerusalem's God Boy", would have been a pop-culture sensation. He would have been the star of his own bear-baiting show, a line of humus would be named after him, and he'd have had a special entrance at Dreidels "R" Us.

But, no, the guy basically disappears from history for 30 years and shows up later staking his celestial claim... if indeed it really was him. After all, they didn't have photo ID back in 3 BC. (Poor Jesus. He couldn't vote in Texas.) He could have been anyone, maybe even one of the disciples angling for some merchandise tie-ins.

The devout seem to have no problem with this huge gap in his background, but at least he didn't show up dragging a wife and kids behind him. Can you imagine the absurd levels of competition that would have ensued as self-aggrandizing hypocrites vied for the title of "most-descended"? One Pope's bad enough without hundreds of charlatans claiming Jesus as their great-great-very-great grand-pappy.

All I know is if some guy came into my office looking for a job and his resume' was blank for thirty years he wouldn't be the first in line for COO, much less savior of the world.


Note 1: Monsanto's genetically-modifed foods are not served to company employees.

Note 2: The February 7th edition of the comic strip Dilbert had the following punch line: "That fucking asshole ruined our email." I stand in unabashed awe.

Note 3: Louisiana Republican congressman John Fleming thinks that the Onion's "Abortionplex" is real.

Note 4: "I would challenge anyone here to think of a question upon which we once had a scientific answer, however inadequate, but for which now the best answer is a religious one." - Sam Harris

Note 5: Officially the stupidest place in America is Jackson County, Alabama.



And now our Chart of the Day: Monthly charge in nonfarm employment.

nonfamr employment

Click here for the modestly larger version.



Republican Job Creation Update

republican job creation2-8-2012: The consistent upward trend in employment numbers would seem to be an excellent time for the GOP to bathe in glory as shepherds of the economy. But even though they've done absolutely nothing to increase employment for the past year all they can do is grumble that "More should be done". For once, they're right.


Dump Fox News

Fox News Lies!And where is the first place that disgraced Karen Handel showed up after her resignation from the Komen Foundation? Yup, Fox News. What a surprise.

Click here to help Drop Fox from your cable system.

end rant

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Today's Google Chow.

The timeline of Jesus Christ
6 BC: Born.
3BC: Worshipped by kings.
15AD: Bowled a 287 for his team, The Holy Rollers.
27 AD: Healed the sick, raised the dead, turned aqua into vino.
29 AD: Crucified