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Mad About Abbottabad

getting bin ladenThere was a time, thousands of years ago, when our ancient European forebears began to figure things out, like agriculture and astronomy. With their new-found technology they could reliably grow enough food to provide an excess after the growing season. They also discovered that most of the shiny points of light in the sky moved in a regular pattern, some of which indicated that the long winter had ended and that spring would soon return.

Both of these events coincided at roughly the same time, and so much celebration ensued. Food was shared, bonfires were lit, beverages were quaffed, and evergreens were revered.

Knowing a good thing when they see it the Church shifted the date of Jesus' birth to December and made the Yuletide an official Xtian holiday, revering a new type of sun god.

The rule of the new Yule was to celebrate modestly as it was now a time of quiet self-reflection. and such was the custom for hundreds of years. Then the industrial revolution hit. Then modern marketing was inventedand


getting bin ladenThere's a new movie opening next month which gives the Full Hollywood Treatment to the hunting down and subsequent killing of Osama bin Laden. From what I've read the film will depict torture as being an essential tool in tracking down the supposed architect of the 9-11 attack. (He was never indicted by the FBI for the events of 9-11.) In reality, the CIA found him using old-fashioned detective work.... and a little luck

Just so we're clear on this, torture does not work unless your only goal is to make people suffer. Even so, torture was not used by the Obama administration to garner information leading them to OBL. Waterboarding, Dick Cheney's second favorite sport (next to shooting people in the face) was shut down by this administration on its very first day.

The film is instituting torture scenes because Americans love that stuff. We enjoy seeing brown people suffer and die, even when it's Jesus Christ. It's also the film-maker's ham-handed way of drilling into the public's consciousness that, hey, George Bush was really the one that got that bad boy, just like he said he would. And he did it with good old, red-blooded, arbitrary American violence.


covenenant houseEvery day in this country young adults are forced into the streets with no place to go and little to eat. Luckily for them there's places like Covenant House. It not only meets the immediate needs of homeless kids but also helps guide them to a self-sufficient future.

So if you have a few bucks left over after buying Aunt Thelma that new snood please consider making a small holiday donation to this worthy organization. Thanks!


Uncle Lefty's Saturnalian Shopping Tips

Looking for that special example of commercial excess to impress the jaded kin on your Xmas list? Well, howzabout one of these?

potty putterPotty Putter


Do you hate this elitist, bullshit, resource-wasting game as much as I do? As George Carlin said: "Think of the brain that it takes to play golf. Hitting a ball with a crooked stick, then walking after it. And then, hitting it again. I say 'Pick it up asshole. You’re lucky you found it. Put it in your pocket and go the fuckk home, will ya!'"

So do us all a favor and encourage your golf-playing pals to play with their balls behind locked doors.



Republican Job Creation Update

republican job creation12-11-12: The House rolled into work at 2PM, then adjourned until 6:30. They then shuffled their feet until 9PM. No jobs were created.

For the full list of Republican sloth please visit republicanjobcreation.com.


Image of the Day: Netflix Ranks the Major ISPs.
netflix ranks the ISPs

end rant

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Today's Google Chow.

Adam: Since you've eaten from the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil, what kind of evil should we expect?

Eve: Plastic trees, Black Friday, jammed parking lots, Chinese sweat shops, fattening foods, unrealistic expectations, credit card debt, gift returns, office parties, crappy presents, bad fruitcake, dead batteries, annoying atheists, the Little Drummer Boy, bratty children, tacky decorations, ugly sweaters, drunken relatives, fake snow, post-seasonal depression, and the TaxSlayer.com Gator Bowl.

Adam: So what's the good part?

Eve: We're Jewish.

Overturn Citizens United