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The GOP gets sued for plagiarism by Mel Brooks.
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Celebrate! Celebrate!

my president

ongratulations, Mr. Obama, on your solid thrashing of whatever the hell that was running against you. I look forward to four more years of peace and prosperity.

Darn you, Ohio, for totally ruining an otherwise suspenseful evening with your thoughtful sensibility.

Thank you, Nate Silver, for telling the truth when no one else would. You deserve a big raise.

Way to go, GOP, for campaigning in the wrong states. You might try the ones that matter next time.

Much obliged, Karl Rove, for failing your party again. Even I could get 200 electoral votes for the GOP simply by running ads showing unicorns playing pinochle.

Tough luck, Sheldon Adelson and David & Charles Koch. Even though you wasted .00000001% of your vast fortunes on this election I'm sure you can easily recoup the loss by increasing the price of gruel in your company commissaries.

And, finally, thank you to The Fates for gifting me with one heck of an excellent birthday present.


Addendum: Although Mr. Obama's victory was due in no small part to the peculiarities of the Electoral College it was most impressive when compared to what he was up against:

(1) All the billionaire money in the world. In 2008 Mr. Romney spent $45 million dollars of his own money on his campaign, and that was just for the Republican primaries. This time he spent $0 of his vast fortune. Thank you, Supreme Court, for unleashing Citizens United and forever putting our government into the hands of those who would gladly sell us for the gold in our teeth.

(2) A media that is firmly in the hands of men who oppose Mr. Obama. Specifically the Fox News network, which should quit fooling around and officially rebrand themselves as "The Propaganda Mouthpiece of the GOP".

(3) A Congress that did absolutely nothing to help the economy for the past two years and subsequently blamed the President for their indolence.

(4) The most ignorant electorate on the face of this Earth. Fifty million otherwise well-intentioned people watched the Republican candidate do a complete 180 on his principles less than two months before the election and thought nothing of it. A candidate whose only real skill was extracting money from the wallets of the working class.

(5) Good, old-fashioned racism.

If the Obama presidency was written as a work of fiction ten years ago no one would have believed it. It is truly a thing of mythic proportion.

A hearty salute to you, Mr. President. You are, indeed, an elite.



end rant

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Today's Google Chow.

GOP guy1: Holy fuckballs! We had the wrong economic plan, the wrong campaign manager, the wrong health plan, and the wrong foreign policy. We even had the wrong candidate. Why did we expect to win?

GOP guy 2: It's worse than that.

GOP guy 1: How?

GOP guy2: Mel Brooks is suing us for plagiarism..

Overturn Citizens United