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God and the Eukaryote

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Point of View

I recently received an email from a Raging Pencils visitor who took the position that my cartoons were actually middle-of-the-road, politically speaking, rather than "left", or far left for that matter. I think she has a point though I'm confused by all this conservative/liberal crappola. After all, why is the idea of arming every citizen with a gun a conservative idea? That's as bizarrely liberal as one can get.

So just to make it clear, here's where I stand on the issues:

Religion: Moderates accept all religions. Liberals think the Flying Spaghetti Monster is the bee's-knees. Conservatives worship money.

Abortion: Conservatives think it should be illegal. Moderates think it should be the final option. Liberals bring protection.

Guns: Moderates think everyone should have the option of owning a gun. Conservatives think everyone should be required to own a gun. Liberals want to move to Sweden.

Homosexuality: Liberals think it's genetic. Moderates think it's fine as long as it's kept indoors. Conservatives are against it until they're caught at it.


mud manI've been pondering this odd idea of mud-genesis lately and I wonder what the process might have looked like had I been there to witness it. Would the mud-person (And you're a Mud Person, too, if you believe this clap-trap) have instantaneously transformed from humble dirt into a living, breathing human or would each grain of sand, silt and worm-poop have laboriously altered its structure, atom-by-atom, into nerves, connective tissue and assorted cable-ready meat?

Considering that Yahweh supposedly snapped his fingers and created the whole of creation why didn't He simply abracadabra humans into existence, too? This mud-into-man story reveals nothing but historic man's primitive grasp of biology. In essence, it's first century science fantasy offered as comfortable, easy-to-swallow fact.


end rant

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Black female god: Lucy! Can you believe this? I spent years perfecting eukaryotic biology and now these bozos are claiming that I created humankind from mud. MUD!

Lucifer: Girl, how many times I got to tell you about reading them scandal sheets?