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More Maher!

tea party meetingBill Maher absolutely nailed the Tea Party on his latest "Real Time" program, and since it's a hell of a lot better than anything I could hash out, here you go:

"Now that they’ve finished reading the Constitution out loud, the Teabaggers must call out that group of elitist liberals whose values are so antithetical to theirs. I’m talking of course about the Founding Fathers, who the Teabaggers believe are just like them, but aren’t. One is a group of exclusively white men who live in a bygone century, have bad teeth, and think of blacks as 3/5 of a person, and the other are the Founding Fathers."

"Now I want you Teabaggers out there to understand one thing. While you idolize the Founding Fathers and dress up like them and smell like them, I think it’s pretty clear that the Founding Fathers would have hated your guts, and what’s more you would have hated them. They were everything you despise. They studied science, read Plato, hung out in Paris, and thought the Bible was mostly bullshit."

"Super religious guy Glenn Beck likes to play dress up as Thomas Paine. Thomas Paine, an atheist who said churches were human inventions set up to terrify and enslave mankind. John Adams said this would be the best of all possible worlds if there were no religion in it, which is not to say the Founders didn’t have a moral code, of course they did. They just didn’t get it from the Bible, well except for the part about it’s cool to own slaves. It’s in there folks. I didn’t make it up."

"The Founders disagreed amongst themselves about that and most issues, but the one thing they never argued about was that political power should stay in the hands of the smartest people and out of the hands of the dumbest loudmouth slowing down the checkout line at Home Depot, and yet Sarah Palin once said of Obama we need a commander in chief not a professor of law standing at a lectern. How gay is that? Well I hate to break it to you, but Thomas Jefferson lawyer, Alexander Hamilton constitutional lawyer, James Madison lawyer, John Adams constitutional lawyer. They were not the common man of their day."

"Ben Franklin studied scientific phenomenon like lightning and the Aurora Borealis, and were he alive today, he could probably explain to Bill O’Reilly why the tides go in and out. James Madison was fluent in Greek and Latin and could translate Virgil and Cicero. John Boehner can’t translate Fareed Zakaria, and Thomas Jefferson was an astronomer and a physicist who founded the University of Virginia, played the violin, and spoke six languages, or as Palin would say, all of them."


One more thing: If the Clinton tax rates had remained in effect, the entire national debt would have been paid off by 2012.

So if you want to know why the deficit is so high it's because Republicans purposely made it that high. Primarily to service their banking masters, who just LOVVVVE the $300 billion in interest that you and I pay on the deficit, but also as an excuse to steal your Social Security. Remember that come 2012.

On that note I'm off to do my last-minute MLK Day shopping.




end rant

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Cosmic Public Radio's "God Talk"

Yahweh: "Hi, guys! Thanks for taking my call! I own a 5000 B.C. class M planet which I've modified with custom life forms based on my own image, but the performance is lousy. I'm getting a lot of noise, overheating and flooding. What's your recommendation?"

Cthuhlu: "Ohh, man! Don't tell me... Ya took the cheap way out and based these creatures on the carbon molecule. Didn't you?"

Odin: "I hate to agree with my brother but it sounds like you're going to need a total rebuild. Next time stick to silicon and things will go more smoothly. Silicon? Smoothly? Get it? Hah!"