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Raging Pencils is an ebon conceit of:

Mike Stanfill, Private Hand
Mike "Lefty" Stanfill, Private Hand
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Today's mystery web comic is:

start rant

Do or Dire

jury doodyF
irst there's a nasty system crash to deal with. Now I've got jury duty.

The Cartoon Dieties of 2010 are trying to tell me something.

Would you believe I've spent the last two days listening to two very expensive wastes of DNA in very expensive suits yelling "Oh, no she di-int!" and "Oh, yes she di-id!" back and forth at each other before twelve very bored and very unlucky bastards? One of whom just happens to be a self-employed web cartoonist who never seems to get enough sleep.

And all about a simple car accident in which nothing got hurt except some paint!!!!

The voir dire alone for this travesty lasted two long hours, with each attorney trying desperately to take us into their greasy confidence before dooming us to this living hell. I made the fatal mistake of asking what the fuck, in so many words, is taking so long to pick a jury, that they'd do better with a set of lawn darts and some rohypnol. I think they selected me just to punish me for my insolence. Let's not give the rabble any ideas or anything.

It used to be that simply marking "pagan" in the "religion" box on the jury form was enough to get me sent happily home before the lunch whistle. By all indications, regarding those set free to continue their drab little lives, it appears that acting like a mute ignoramus is all I really need do.

Which, on reflection, shouldn't be that much of a stretch for me.


Clean Coal?

Genius that I am <cough> it suddenly occurred to me that there may yet be one of two of you not yet exposed to the phenomenon of "clean coal".

It's a catch-phrase that the mining industry has been eagerly fomenting to make you, the general public, associate the two words together, even they're about as compatible as salt and prostate cancer. Buttons and prostate cancer. Bacon and prostate cancer.

You get the drift.

For more on the insidiousness of this campaign I urge to read this for background and this for details.


PS - A big "Thank you!" to reader J. Mr. Delfin for his help with an errant chemical formula.


end rant

Raging Pencils salutes the Mystery Readers of
Tsukuba, Japan
Whoever you are, thanks for reading my dirty little 'toon.

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Today's Google Chow.

The autopsy would later report that he'd o.d.'d on pure, uncut hydrocarbons and choked on his own CO2. Lucinda knew it was a mistake ever taking him back as she knew, though her heart denied it, that there's no such thing as clean coal.