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Raging Pencils by Mike "Lefty" Stanfill

Hindu death panel.

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start rant

Going Long

Obama CowboyI've been hearing lately a lot of frantic static from the Right Wing Noise Machine that Mr. Obama is already a failed president.

Get. A. Grip.

You know who President Obama reminds me of just now? Legendary coach of the Dallas Cowboys, Jimmy Johnson.

Jimmy's first year as a coach was a disaster. 1-15. He was no doubt a good coach but he got stuck with a team full of guys named Herb, not to mention a few coaches in the Eastern Conference all-too-happy to rub his little rookie nose in the Astroturf. It took him a couple of years to get the personnel he wanted but that's when the big (Red, White and) Blue machine finally took off.

By comparison, George Bush was handed the 1975 Steelers, who deftly turned it into the 2008 Detroit Lions.

I have a feeling that if Fox News, the scummiest of scum bags, had been broadcasting the Cowboy games back in 89' Jimmy wouldn't have lasted half a season. Luckily, he was given time to work out the bugs and work up a little magic. Two Lombardi trophies worth.

Mr. Obama is a similarly smart guy and all he needs is for us voters to have a little faith in him, and eventually kick those loser blue dogs off his team so we can trade up for a few smart rookies who can see up the field and who can find the open lanes.

Then we'll all be the champions, my friend.


kellys heroesIn reading a review for Inglorious Basterds it was commented that it resembled, in some small fashion, the 1970s war movie "Kelly's Heroes". By some happy coincidence I'd gotten my grubby mitts on a copy just the weekend before, so Beloved Girlfriend and I grabbed a fist full of Tootsie Pops, a bottle of wine and headed for the media room.

Like the movie Jaws, which we'd watched a few weeks ago, Kelly's Heroes was bizarrely suffused with that bothersome mid-1900's predilection for plot and character. Clint Eastwood demonstrated his legendary range of emotions from A to B, Telly Savalas demonstrated his bald head and Darrin McGavin demonstrated why he was destined for a career in TV. However, it was Donald Sutherland who stole the show as an outrageously karmic tank commander with just a touch of canine in him.

It was still an enjoyable film but the best part, the scene that sent the BG and me into repeated spasms of hysterics, came near the end.

A German Tiger tank was the only thing standing between our brave, though covetous American heroes and a French bank full of 14,000 gold bars. As the GI's were, by this time, down to little but hand weapons 'Crapgame' (The fabulous Don Rickles in a token role as 'rapacious Jew') suggested to Clint that they make a deal with the commander of the German tank.

"What do you mean, 'a deal'?", said Clint.

"A DEAL deal. Who knows", Crapgame replied, "maybe he's a Republican."

To the 65% of you enjoyed that line, you're welcome. For the rest of you, here's the clip, coutesy of Youtube.

And, yes a deal was made and everyone got their gold. Even a German tanker who should have been sued for copyright infringement by Marlon Brando's lips.


end rant

Bonus Aerobics
Where's my flying car? I want my flying car!

Extra Deluxe Positional Bonus Fabulousness

karma sheetra
Get your samsara on.

Raging Pencils salutes the Mystery Reader of
Siauliai, Lithuania
Whoever you are, thanks for reading my peculiar little 'toon.

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Today's Google Chow.
Insurance lobbyist meets Ganesh.
Caption: The Hindu Death Panel
Ganesh: "Okay, let's see... your last pre-existing condition was as an insurance lobbyist, so you have your choice of reincarnating as a cockroach, liver fluke or... Hey! How about that! An insurance lobbyist!"