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Raging Pencils by Mike "Bullseye!" Stanfill

Read, aim, legislate.

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Raging Pencils is a high-velocity conceit of:

Mike Stanfill, Private Hand
Mike Stanfill, Private Hand
IllustrationFlash AnimationWeb Design

Today's mystery web comic is:

start rant

A quick mea culpa: Due to a brutal work schedule the image in today's comic comes from an earlier Raging Pencils cartoon. I hope you'll find it in your spleen to forgive me. See you Friday with new artwork... I hope. =Mike=

Don't Say I never Gave You Anything.

mismatchI've had a zillion-dollar idea kicking around in the back of my head for awhile and I've decided it's time to share it with anyone with the capability to make it work. I, after all, am but a humble art boy.

Like any red-blooded American art boy I enjoy the sport of basketball, but I've come to really dislike the brand of professional 'ball as it's played here in the U.S. for three major reasons:

(1) Salaries and egos are way out of line.

(2) With so many players standing 7+ feet the current height of the basket is a joke.

(3) How can you have loyalty to a team if all your star players are from Germany, France, China or even Kenya? Especially if they leave after one year when they get a better offer.

So here's my idea: It's called Capital Basketball.

Each state in the Union will have one basketball team headquartered in its state capital.

Each team wil be comprised of 12 players and each player must have been born in that particular state. (However, if a player has spent most of his life living in a different state other than his birth-state he can apply to that team for a one-time exemption. Do the math, this is not going to be a big problem.) This means that you will now be literally rooting for the "local boys".

This also means no draft and all the macho nonsense involved. You wanna play on a team? Get your shoes and bring your best game to the try-outs.

All players will receive the same guaranteed base pay regardless of ability, though veterans will receive yearly raises. Hefty bonuses will be paid to players for higher-than-average free throws, steals and assist percentages. This rewards and encourages team-play.

What about larger states that could possibly afford a second or third team? Easy. Each team will be required to play parts of its regular schedule in other major cities around its home state. Imagine Austin and Little Rock playing a week-long series in Dallas, San Antonio, Houston and Fort Worth. This will save energy and travel time as both teams could take the same bus.

Yes, lesser-populated states are going to regularly get their butts kicked, but when Pierre upsets Boston in the playoffs, with critical assists from that Thompson boy from across the street and that ex-shoe salesman from Sioux City, it's gonna be BIG news back home for a long time to come.

Yes, indeedy!


end rant

Bonus Cyriak
A little weirdness from the king of reiterative imagery.

Extra Deluxe Narcissistic Bonus Fabulousness

bombs away!
More from my Lost Sketchbooks. Media: Bic pen.

Raging Pencils salutes the Mystery Reader of
La Paz, Bolivia
Whoever you are, thanks for reading my crappy little 'toon.

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Today's Google Chow.
Exterior shot of Congress:
Sargeant-at-arms (presumably): "Before the benediction allow me to remind everyone, in accordance with this august body's generous interpretation of the 2nd amendment, that no searches for weapons were performed on the many visitors in attendance today. You may now discharge your duties in the same thoughtful, friendly, Constitutionally-protected environment now found in our nation's taverns, colleges, workplaces and churches. Me? I'm outta here."