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Raging Pencils by Mike "Phenotype" Stanfill


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Raging Pencils is an evolving conceit of:

Mike Stanfill, Private Hand
Mike Stanfill, Private Hand
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Today's mystery web comic is:

start rant


(It's been a long word day. Too tired to rant. Here's a little something from Craigslist I found amusing. =mike=)

9-11 is a lie "If you are between 18 and 30 y/o and have you a normal build body, than come to me, i will butchering and eating your fine flesh. Please mail me your Age, High and Wigth, and if you can with a pic."

This was the personal ad that a German homosexual cannibal named Armin M. put up in order to lure his victim to his *consensual* death. It was quite a date, since Armin ended up eating the victim's penis... actually, they shared the penis meal before Armin killed his date and kept the body in the fridge for meat. The police are investigating 5 other people who have responded to his ad.

Shocking as this is, it pales in comparison to the depressing truth that his ad received at least 6 more replies than any of my personal ads ever have. I take pride in making sure that my ads are spelled correctly, that I maintain a respectful, non-butchering tone of voice, and that I also offer to pay for a nice romantic non-penis dinner, which may or may not be candlelit, depending on the venue. The dinner table, I mean. NOT the penis. Although after dinner... Uhhh.. nevermind.

So I'm going to need at least 6 responses to this ad, otherwise THE HOMOSEXUAL INTERNET CANNIBALS HAVE ALREADY WON!

Anyway, about me.

I'm 32 years old, SAM, Chinese by heritage, midwestern by culture. I like the Asian cuisine around the bay area--- Thai, Vietnamese, Chinese, Indian, it's all good. I won't go so far as to say I'm vegetarian, but I do keep a strictly penis-free diet. However, I do respect other people's eating habits, so whether you eat only vegetables or you eat penis (in the metaphorical and not the literal sense only), I am totally cool with that.

So write back, and join me for dinner and interesting conversation. Don't let the cannibals win! Haven't we already suffered enough?

end rant

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