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Raging Pencils by Mike "Lefty" Stanfill

The Honeymooners 1000 BCE.

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Know Your Scumbag, Numero Ten-O

michael mccallisterAhhh, good old Michael McCallister, the Humana head honcho, the $60 million dollar CEO.

What's his little company been up to lately? Let's go see...

Well, for one thing they've been mailing misleading literature about health reform to senior citizens. This is especially disgusting as nearly two-thirds of their revenue comes from Medicare Advantage or, as they like to call it, the Golden Goose.

Let's see... what else?

Oh, one of their former employees, Linda Peeno recently blabbed about the company's business methods to members of Congress. The highlights include her being told that her job not only requires her to deny coverage but that the medical reviewer (her position) with the highest denial rate got a Christmas bonus. How jolly!

In addition, at the same time she was denying a heart transplant, the office was installing a piece of scuplture that could have paid for the transplant.

Oops! Make that eight transplants as the sculpture cost $3.8 million dollars.

For more disgusting details on Humana's business practices read the whole story at


Crumb's Banquet

Crumb bibleI'm having the greatest time reading R. Crumb's illustrated version of the Bible, simply because Crumb's artwork raises the "batshit craziness" factor to unsuspected heights. There's something about the artwork that focuses the insanity into crystal clarity.

Case in point, Genesis Chapter 18. God serendipitously decides he's going to nuke Sodom and Gomorrah. Abraham nervously interposes, understandably appalled at this turn of events, at which point their conversation devolves into an Abbott and Costello routine. I shall paraphrase for the middle-English impaired:

God: Okay, if you can find me fifty innocent people, the city's off the hook

Abraham: Deal!.... except what if I can only find 45 innocent people?

God: Then the city is likewise home-free.

Abraham: Really? Then how about 40 innocent people?

God: 45, 40. Same diff.

Abraham: Hmmm. Then howsabout.... 30 innocent people?

God: 30?

Abraham: 30.

God: 'Kay.

Abraham: Good, then I'll just run along and ... say, what if there's only 20 innocent people in town?

God: (Sigh) Three guesses.

Abraham: Safe?

God: Safe.

Abraham: Cool. But just in case, what if...?

God: TEN! I'll go down to ten, all right! Now shut up already and get outta here!

Abraham: Sheesh! What a grouch.


This incident plays out exactly like any number of folk stories where the canny rube takes advantage of whatever local demons are most prevalent. Except in this case it offers no moral and is simply for amusement purposes only. It's just that this is the Bible, and nothing is funny in the Bible.


Need I point out that not only did Abraham not find his ten innocent citizens, he apparently never even looked for them as the tale abruptly jumps to Chapter 19, featuring good old Lot and his two nameless, incestruous daughters.



end rant

Raging Pencils salutes the Mystery Reader of
Castlemartyr, Ireland
Whoever you are, thanks for reading my unfocused little 'toon.

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Today's Google Chow.

Caption: King David in "The Honeymooners, 1000BCE".

King David: "I don't ask much, Michal, just dinner on the table when I get home after a hard day of slaying giants. I can't believe I once lopped-off 200 weiners just to marry you."

Michal, thinks: "Oh, Yahweh! Not the foreskin story again."