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The progressive editorial cartoon about the monstrous Catholic Church.

end rant

Ex Eo Negotio

"Attention! Attention! His most empiricalness, Pope Lefty I, will now address the crowd. Go right ahead, your Eminence."

"Thanks, Eddie. Okay, listen up you mooks. Now, so far you've all been really good about burnin' those candles and rubbin' them beads but this world that God built way back when ain't lookin' too good these days and we all know who's responsible. And I'm lookin' right at 'em. Yeah, that's right. I'm talking to you, Angelo. And you, too, Mario. In fact, all you guys. You all been thinkin' God's gonna keep those cheeseburgers and SUVs comin'
forever. Well, I got news for you. God's gettin' real tired of this planet. It's like, you know, when you buy a pool table and it's fun for, like, maybe two weeks, and then you just start stackin' boxes on it and wondering why it's takin' up all that space in the rumpus room. Yeah, like that. The Earth is the pool table and we're all behind the eight ball."

"Pretty good how I got around to that eight-ball metaphor, huh? That's why I'm the fuckin' Pope and you're all buying lottery tickets."

"Okay, so God's left me in charge and I got Satan's phone number on speed-dial, capiche, so here's what we're gonna do. First, you're all gonna start eatin' more vegetables. Like, a lot. God gave you those canines 'cause he thought it looked kinda cool, like vampire-cool, but that doesn't make you a fuckin' tiger. All them cows you been eatin' fart a lot, you know, and all that methane is stinkin' up Jesus's tennis court. A little more fiber won't kill ya."

"Second, you're all gonna start walkin' more. God hid all that dinosaur juice under Saudi Arabia in order to lubricate the axis this planet spins on. He had no idea you monkeys would invent the Hummer."

"Finally, you can have all the abortions you want now. Go crazy. The less of you guys the better. No offense, but it wouldn't hurt if you invested in a stronger deodorant, too."

"Oh, and one more thing. If a guy named Guido shows up and starts hollerin' somethin' about copyright infrigement, you don't know me."


end rant

Lefty News for November 17th, 2023

Biden voters sure as Hell are voting against Trump.

The GOP doesn't want you to really know the number of undocumented immigrants.

DeSantis' Florida drag ban blocked by Supreme Court.

Advertisers flee X over Musk's antisemitic remarks.

School system pays $200k in legal fees for discriminating against The Satanic Temple.

If you need a break from the insanity that swirls around us
then enjoy the fuzzy love of The Poozycat Project :

the infinite cat project

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Classic Raging Crappola
vatican comic


Google Chow (Eat hearty, little Google-bots!)

It promises jubilation but ultimately it relies on fear to control people, especially children, on whom it preys.
But we know that if you refuse to let it scare you it will lose power over you.
The Catholic Church?
No. It. Pennywise.
Good guess, though.

The progressive editorial cartoon about the monstrous Catholic Church.

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