The
Outer Limits of Patience
In a court battle by Progressives to keep Trump off the ballot
using the 14th Amendment the Minnesota Supreme Court recently
ruled that [my paraphrasing] "The Republican Party can
place on the primary ballot a striped-ass baboon if they
want. That's their business. But if that orange smear on
the shithouse wall is on the election ballot come November,
and he's been legally adjudicated as an insurrectionist,
then we'll talk."
Five people died as a result of Trump's hootenanny January
6th and he's still walking around free. Evidently the legal
basis for an insurrectionist charge is in excess of five
innocent people dying. But what do I know? Maybe there's
a formula involving the size of one's ego times the amount
in one's bank divided by the number of people that one stochastically
murdered that determines if you can continue to travel internationally
in order cheat at golf.
--------------
This week, while rediscovering
the technical details about how rabbits were used to affirm
a woman's pregnancy back in the "old days", I learned something
fascinating.
Written documents stretching back as far as 1350 BCE stated
that if a woman urinated on wheat or barley seeds, and they
began to
grow as a result, meant
she
was pregnant.
Silly, huh?
Researchers recently put this claim to the test,
applying modern scientific methods, and discovered that it
wasn't as bat-shit crazy as it seems. In fact, the urine
of a pregnant woman would
cause wheat seeds to sprout about 75% of the time, while
urine
from a non-pregnant female, or a man's urine, had no effect
at
all.
As for the rabbits, their ovaries would produce follicles
if injected with the urine of a pregnant woman. Unfortunately,
the rabbit had to be killed and autopsied to determine if
said follicles had grown. The good news is that frogs
were later used, beginning in 1939, for the same purpose
and they didn't have to die.
In the 1960s hormone-based tests
were perfected and ended the lupine holocaust once and for
all.
-------------
And, finally...
Why would a married man be afraid to have more than twelve
affairs?
He had tryst-kaidekaphobia.
I'll let myself out.
=Lefty=
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