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Spit-Ballin'

Why did I choose to characterize the Affordable Care Act as a cute widdle puppy dog instead of, say, a giraffe, a mole rat, or a giant squid?

Optics, baby. Pure optics. (Although on second thought that giant squid thing would have been SO COOOOL!) The important thing is that, like David Letterman's legendary giant doorknob, it's just big.

-------------

I
have been wanting, for some time now, to address the urgent need of reform in one of America's most cherished institutions. I am, of course, talking about little league baseball.

Now, I don't know if things have changed much since I coached little league back in the 80s and 90s but this is what I learned: 12-year-old boys are not professional baseball players, so why the hell do we make them play by professional baseball rules? The league games are supposed to be fun, not act as de facto AAAAAAA farm teams for the majors.

The first thing I'd change if I were King of Little League is that everyone bats, even if they don't play. If you have 14 kids in the dugout, then you got a 14-kid batting order. And if one of the kids shows up late because dad was road-raging again, add him to the list.

The second thing I'd mandate is unlimited substitution. At the beginning of each inning you send out whichever nine kids you choose. None of this "once you're substituted, you're out" nonsense.

Furthermore, as coach, I'd make all the players except the pitcher and catcher shift positions after each out because I can tell you from first-hand experience that right field can be a grassy little dungeon. Yeah, we're not all natural infielders or center fielders but, as I've said, the emphasis should be on the enjoyment of the game, and a change in scenery does a kid good. Who knows? The occasional stint at short stop might even make the lesser-talented kids feel kinda special.

The last thing I ever want to see again is a nice, though physically-awkward kid stuck in the back of the dugout (It happens) because some coach approaches the game like he's got his drinking-money riding on it. That's some ego-crushing stuff, yo.

If kids have a genuine interest in the sport they'll have plenty of time to pursue it later in life.

=Lefty=


end rant

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Well, you know what they say.... if you name something you have to keep it.
GOP Republican elephant with big yellow dog named Obamacare: I hate you.