Doing
My Duty
 By
the time most of you read this my butt
will be in custody of the local legal
establishment.
Yes, I have jury duty.
Sigh.
That's
what I get for voting. (They cull the
voting rolls
around here for prospective
jurors, which explains
why the assembled masses seldom sports
any cute chicks, just wizened geriatrics
like me.)
The last time
they called me for duty was three years
ago when I was chosen to adjudicate
a civil
case that had no business wasting anyone's
time.
It took two days for all the evidence
to be presented and ten minutes to
decide against the plaintiff's case.
It seems like only yesterday but I
guess three years is long enough.
It's a tedious
process
but
it's the
price we pay for a civilized society.
This year, though, I'm coming prepared.
A few months ago I was casing the local
thrift
stores
for interesting t-shirts when I found
a like-new promo shirt for a 1995 Pauly
Shore movie called "Jury Duty". It's
beautiful. An alabaster-white shirt
with big,
red, double-trucked letters stating
"JURY DUTY" on the front in an elegant
serif. On the back, nothing. Perfect.
I'm
not wearing it today because it would
call undue attention to myself during
the voir dire but if they
select me for trial I'll
wear
it
Tuesday.
As far as I know there's no rule against
messages on imprinted shirts, within
reason, just shorts and flip-flops.
Personally,
I think the courts ought to give all
jury members a free shirt like this
instead
of that crummy little badge. At the
very least it'd ensure lots more of
these things in the thirst shops.
=Lefty=
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