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Every Day's a Holiday!

kim jong-ilDo you take Columbus Day seriously? How about George Washington's birthday, or Lincoln's? Is July 4th much more to you than a picnic basket and some fireworks by the lake? Is there any way to celebrate St. Patrick's Day that doesn't involve beer? Meanwhile, Memorial Day is the perfect time to stop and remember to buy a new grill for the patio.

And how about Christmas? We give it nothing but lip music as a pious event when we drag out all the pagan bells and whistles.

A quick digression: It's entirely possible that, deep down inside, the Grinch was probably more pious than the Whos as he didn't actually object to their faith... he objected to their consumer-driven celebration. Yes, they all held hands in the town square on "Xmas morning" (Really? A "Who dimension" Jesus?) and droned out "Fah-Who Foraze" but they could just as easily have been singing "Grandma Got Run Over By A Big Purple Tottenschnootle" as far as the sacredness goes. The fact that most of us faithfully watch HTGSC every year indicates how casually we treat the "true meaning" of the holiday.

Digression over.

Indifference towards national holidays is probably a good thing. By that I mean, imagine a country where the population is forced, perhaps even at the point of a gun, to celebrate a holiday with all the emotion and enthusiasm you can muster. Think Kim Jong-Il's birthday.

This is why I think Martin Luther King Day is important, because the moment it's just a backdrop for a sale at Big Boxes everywhere, whenever we take a day off without considering its significance, when we treat the occasion like a complete joke then we'll know we will have attained racial equality in this country.


I heard today that the Koch brothers are intending to spew a billion dollars worth of right-wing propaganda over the airwaves in advance of the 2016 presidential election, paid for with money from no other source than their personal little piggy banks. And, of course, they'll expect to get nothing in return from all the nice, new congressmen they'll be buying.


Die, you treasonous motherfuckers! Get a really painful case of cancer or an infestation of guinea worms in your eyes! Or something really vile in the pancreatic region so that you spend your last days in insufferable pain or drifting in the foggy haze of a morphine drip!


Some of you may notice that I didn't color this one. I initially intended to pimp this snarky ride but, on second thought, I kinda like it like this. I'll consider it "art".


end rant

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Google Chow (Eat hearty, little Google-bots!)

Question to ask abortion protestors.
Does your wife get pregnant every time you have sex?
Go away.
If you're not going to have more than two children does that mean you'll never have sex again?
If you don't have children does that mean you're a virgin?
When you menstruate do you always give the infertile ovum a Christian burial?
Have you ever protested a hysterectomy?
When you masturbate do you sense a disturbance in the Force, as if millions of voices cried out in pain?