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Just You and Me and Your Hymen Against the World

chastity belt Purity Balls.

Good Christian fathers lead their daughters through an elaborate ritual in which God himself endows the proud papas with supreme authority over their daughter's virginity. There are fancy dresses and waltzes and jewelry and arches of swords and symbolic white roses laid at the foot of a cross and symbolic keys to symbolic hearts and bribery and brainwashing and, well, what girl could say no?

Okay, fair enough. I suppose if you fill your daughter's head with religious nonsense, keep her ignorant about the fundamentals of her biological sexuality, and deny her access to birth control then you'll definitely need to invoke the name of your local deity in order to wield an iron fist over her birth canal in order to keep her from coming home from the Bieber concert with more than just a slight hearing loss. It just stands to reason.

However, there's one little thing this stupid/creepy ceremony leaves out of the equation?


Yeah, see, that's because a good Christian woman is evidently too, well, let's not say "stupid" to do anything but cook and clean and bear live young but they certainly must keep their opinions to themselves and dutifully heed their husbands words because, as we all know, men are always right. God says so. And, most of all, mothers mustn't tell their daughters about sex, especially the part about how much fun it is, because they might somehow get the right idea. Better to simply let Dad stigmatize the whole process and stand guard every time a boy shows a passing interest. Yeah, that won't cause any deep-rooted psychological damage on down the line.

Alternatively, how about educating your daughter about everything, leave all her options open, allow her the choice to make the same reasoned decisions/mistakes we all make?

If that's too much trouble then just show her the following video:



Over 50% of the House and Senate are millionaires and too many of them bought their way into the job. That's not how government should work so buy this bumper sticker and let the guy driving behind you know you're a 100% patriotic American crank.


end rant

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Christian Purity Ceremony
For Girls
And since the only bankable commodity a woman can possibly offer a husband is her virginity, I, as high priest of our home, shall be the final authority over your chastity until the day you are, with god’s grace, married.
For Boys
Man and son: Say, looks like the Yanks split a double-header last night.

Overturn Citizens United