Horns Of The Dilemma

Whenever I hear a news report, as I did today, that powdered rhino horn is fetching a gazillion-billion dollars a gram I become positively miffed as I immediately envision deviant foreign savages snorting horn powder through counterfeit $100 bills in an attempt to bring their trouser snakes up to full attention.

And then I remember, "Oh, yeah.... they're actually using the horn powder as a curative for fever, gout, and other simple ailments." Except that it doesn't work, at all, as the rhino's horn is made of plain old keratin, the same material found in animal hooves and horns and, oh yeah, human fingernails.

But in Yemen it's a different story. When Yemeni Muslim boys reach the age of twelve their fathers give them a traditional symbol of manhood. But instead of a good old Red Ryder BB gun or a personal satchel charge they receive an oh-so-dreamy ceremonial dagger with a rhino horn handle. As you might guess, that's a lot of 12-year-old muslim boys and, unfortunately, a lot of rhino horns.

As more rhinos die the more the price for their horns will spiral upwards until, eventually, we'll have nothing left but memories. And a lot of whiny 12-year-old boys with plastic rhino-horn daggers.

=Lefty=