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Gut Reaction

tiny brainSince I first learned the remarkable sciencey titbit that humans are 90% microbial, and presumably 10% real fruit juice, it has become uncomfortable for me to tell women that I love them. I'm a very honest person so I now tell all the hot mamas that 10% of me loves them.

But that's a lie because it's just my brain that loves someone, not my heart or spleen or toenails, so I guess I should modify it to "Less than 1% of me loves you. No, not that part! Okay, maybe it is that part. Stop laughing!"

But even that's inaccurate as it's only a small part of my brain that deals with the cross-section of interpersonal relations and glandular activities so I've decided to amend my romantic pronouncements thusly:

"Love, Earth woman? What is love?"

Yeah, I just slay 'em.


Note: For reasons that escape me I failed again to create a bonus 'toon. You hate me, don't you? Wahhhhhh! I'm so unhappy! Where did I hide the unhealthy food?


end rant

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God's mom: Remember, son, my recipe for mankind is nine parts human cells to one part microbes. Got that?
Yahweh: Yes, mom. Nine parts microbes to one part human.
God's mom: No, that's not...Are you listening to me?
The Big Kahuna: Yes, mom.

Overturn Citizens United