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"The Nutty Redeemer"

snuff pornA recent news story reported that a Costco store had accidentally labeled a few Bibles as "Fiction", whereupon a legion of pious wheels began to squeak menacingly. Faced with a possible religious rebellion management quickly fixed the error by re-labeling them as "Snuff porn".

In my dreams, of course.

There are those who vehemently declare that the Bible is a book of historical fact, forgetting that central characters like Moses, for example, left no record of having ever existed. Nor can archeologists find any evidence of such religiously-significant events as the Exodus. Throw in the entirety of both Genesis AND Revelations and you have to be drinking at least forty days and forty nights worth of Kool-Aid to not understand why someone might question the Bible's veracity.

As my grandma never said, "You can put puppies in the oven but that don't make 'em biscuits."

To be fair, Bibles ought to be stocked under more   categories than just "Religion". Like "Infant Care", since it offers information on dashing your children against rocks (Psaml 137:9). Or "Romance", since it has such good advice on how many shekels you should pay the father of your rape victim, subsequently taking her as your wife. (Deuteronomy 22:28)

Personally, I think it belongs in "Fine Arts" as its meaning is in the eye of the beholder. You know, like a Jerry Lewis movie.


end rant

A guide to Biblical marriage.

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Mom1 with Superman comic: Look. You're 12. You're too old to believe that aliens can come to Earth, become super-strong, gain the power of flight, and live in an ice fortress in the Arctic.

Mom2 with Bible: Look. You're 12. You're too old to believe that when men die they'll live forever, get a pair of wings, and live in a mansion in the clouds..

Overturn Citizens United