Planting
The Seed
 When
you consider it from a rational perspective God's
punishment of Eve was a hot, steaming bowl of WTF.
Any normal deity might have
grounded her
for a week or simply rapped her on the nose with a
rolled-up newspaper. But, no. Instead, He Who Made
all Things
burdened her innards
with
the
fate
of
the entire
human
race.
Seems suspiciously
specific
if you ask me. Almost as if women in a pre-technological
society were already bearing children
and needed a comforting explanation as to the mystery
of it all.
Call me skeptical.
---------------
 After
last week's abysmal experience with The Dark Knight I'm
pleased to offer a mini-review of two vastly superior
films... Looper and
Premium Rush.
The former concerns organized
crime's use of time travel as a convenient way of
dumping bodies, a machine, in this case, which looks
like it cost the effects department all of $29.99.
The
main
character
is
a murderous,
whoring, drug-addict but
he's played
by that nice kid from Third Rock From the Sun so
he's a nice murderous, whoring, drug-addict.
There's also minor nudity, which is okay, too. I'm
happy to report that there were several moments that
made me go "Whoa! That was cool!", and we
can always use more of those.
Any movie
that employs time travel is already suspect but if
you ignore the massive resultant paradoxes in both
plot structure and physics it's a blast to watch.
The second movie, Premium Rush, is a tasty
brew of bicycle delivery men, psycho cops, and American
immigration
policies. It, too, stars the Third Rock kid and is
pure popcorn-eatin' fun from first frame to final credits.
Rent these movies.
-------------------
 I have
a cat who's very intelligent, you know, for a cat.
She's 14-years-old and for the first three years of
her life
it was just
her and me so she never knew that she was just a cat.
She clearly understands more than 20 words and can
even
parse simple
sentences. (Favorite word:
"Milk". Least Favorite Phrase: "Come here.")
One of her little tricks is to open the baseboard kitchen
cabinets and make a nuisance of herself among the crockery,
occasionally (very occasionally) employing whatever
she can find in there as her personal toilet.
As you might guess this is a problem so I added magnetic
catches to the doors, but she figured out how to pop
those pretty
quickly.
It was time to get tough so
this
past weekend
I went down to Big Box and bought a pack of safety
latches, the kind meant to keep young children out
of such places.
When I got home
I placed the box of latches
on the kitchen table and went to fetch some tools to
do my manly chores. I returned a few moments later
to find
she had emerged from hiding, climbed up on the table,
discovered my purchase, and puked all over it.
Not
just near the box and not just a simple hairball. It
was
a spectacular
volume
of clear liquid and semi-dry cat food right on the
very top. A direct hit, a feline drone-strike, an editorial
comment, a "Hell no!" if I ever saw one.
That's my little girl.
------------------
And our Chart of the Day: Annualized Growth of Federal
Spending
=Lefty=
|
