Raging Pencils logo

Rhymes With Orange
Randi Rhodes

Free comics every Monday, Wednesday & Friday!
pump high heel pregnant
Imagine no religion

Looking for a specific RP comic and/or Rant and can't find it?

start rant

Oil Warriors

oil warriorPrior to this last century it's easy to say that most wars were fought over religious differences, but not any more. Now we fight the Holy Crude Wars.

WWII, the first global oil war, was certainly about national conquest but it was also about sweet, sweet crude. The Germans weren't in Africa for the sand and the Japanese weren't attacking Pearl Harbor for the coconuts. We're also not up to our necks in sunny quagmire in Iraq and Afghanistan just 'cause we like spreadin' freedom.


This may come as a shock to those of you that think that anyone wearing a turban has C4 packed in his belly button but the real reason the U.S. invaded Iraq was because Saddam Hussein was just beginning crank up his oil exports, and he was planning to hawk his country's vast deposits of oil using euros. Up until about 2000 he was restricted from selling oil on the open market due to crippling sanctions imposed on his country after the first Gulf War.

It sounds harmless but trading in euros would have resulted in a financial calamity for the U.S. as world markets had long ago agreed to buy and sell oil using U.S. Federal Reserve notes.

Unfortunately you can't reveal such simple truths to the American people because they're bound to say something stupid like "Hey! Instead of wasting trillions of our tax dollars on oil wars why not invest all of that money in solar and/or wind power?" But we can't do that as oil executives NEED that third or fourth yacht plus that fleet of private jets.

In order to stop Saddam the oil companies decided they needed a new Pearl Harbor. So Cheney and his oil cronies the Super Secret Energy Task Force dragged out their old Iraq oil field maps and hatched up a scheme before George Bush could finishing saying "preserve, protect and defend the Constitution of the United States."

One contrived catastrophe later the Bush propagandists had 70% of my dumb-ass fellow Americans believing Saddam was responsible for 9-11 and it was "Hi-ho, Waterboard, AWAYYY!".

Then, just for grins, the Neocons gutted the Bill of Rights with something they just happen to have laying around called the PATRIOT Act. After all, you can't spread freedom unless you deny freedom first.

Now, every morning across the globe, the CEOs of British Petroleum, Shell, and Exxon/Mobil get on their Himalayan vicuna-wool swathed knees, bow towards Saudi Arabia, and pray for guidance in determining which straw dictator will next fall under the laser-guided axe, all in the name of Saint Corporate Profits.




Republican Job Creation Update

john boehner"We're going to have a relentless focus on creating jobs." - John Boehner, February 10, 2011.

The following is #81 in a list of Republican job creation activities since they gained control of the House in 2011. None, sad to say, have yet to result in one, single new job.

(81) 9-12-2011: Not much governing today so I think I'll just make a little comparison... which two types of professions do you think result in more jobs? Wall Street commodity speculators or educators?And which group do you think the GOP is doing its darndest to reduce in numbers?

NOTE: As a result of an unexpected wave of enthusiasm the Republican Job Creation update now has its own web site. It will remain on the RP but a web site of its own will raise its visibility on the 'net as we progress towards the critical 2012 elections. And I thank you for your support.


Dump Fox News

Fox News Lies!And what manner of lie is Fox News spewing today? Well, did you know that 9-11 was Clinton's fault? Well, SURRRRE it was.

Click here to help Drop Fox from your cable system.

end rant

HTML Comment Box is loading comments...


If you enjoy Raging Pencils, might I also recommend:


Mike's Video Vault

Why the U.S. killed Saddam Hussein


Raging Pencils is an amusing conceit of:

Mike Stanfill, Private Hand
Mike Stanfill, Private Hand
IllustrationFlash AnimationWeb Design


Can't make sense of the news? Try our selection of progressive nosh:
DailykosCrooks and LiarsThink ProgressTalking Points Memo

Today's Google Chow.

Imagine no oil wars.