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God decides to make Adam a companion.

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Adam & Steve

adam and steve Ask any fundie about God and they will tell you without hesitation that He/She/It is infallible, that He/She/It knows all, sees all. That He/She/It is, in fact, a cosmic love-pulse-matrix.

Except that He/She/It didn't think Adam would require an Eve.

Eve, as so many Biblical women are, was obviously an afterthought. One day God noticed that Adam looked lonely (Gosh, who-d a thunk?) and decided to make him a companion, a "helper". This new playmate could easily have been another guy and then all of history would have changed, but no. Fortuitously for us, God instead whipped up a critter with latent reproductive capabilities. You know, just in case she got "hungry" after "communing" with "snakes" in the "garden".

Speaking of hunger, it occurs to me that our two mythical fore bearers had to be vegetarians since there's no Biblical evidence of them chowing down on any of God's new critters, although it might explain the disappearance of the dinosaurs and/or possibly a unicorn or two. This is doubly odd as not eating meat is expressly noted as one of the sins that will deny you a ticket to Paradise.

Ah, Bible. You confuse and delight me so.


I rented the last Transformers movie for a $1 at the local vend-a-box. I now occasionally wake late in the night and mourn those two innocent lost hours that I'll never see again. I eventually lapse back into a troubled sleep after fervent prayers that Michael Bay someday gets a massive pus-wart on his perineum.

You can, therefore, imagine my delight at discovering someone with real film-critic chops severing the latest Transformer film at the knees, dissecting it like the freakish, diseased specimen of pop-culture that it is.


Addendum: One of my misanthropic internet peers is the near-legendary, in his own mind at least, "Zero Punctuation", better known as "Yahtzee" to his imaginary friends but known as Ben Croshaw to any number of federal agencies. If you haven't seen one of his video game critiques then you really should. Now would be a good time. And send him lots of money when you're done.

I've mentioned before how much I admire his work but I'm mentioning him again because, coincidentally, this week's review of a game called "Infamous 2", one I didn't get to see until just this morning, employed the visual metaphor of cow-fucking.

Small world, huh?



john boehner"We're going to have a relentless focus on creating jobs." - John Boehner, February 10, 2011.

The following is #47 in a list of accomplishments by the GOP since they gained control of the House in 2011. None have yet to result in one, single new job.

(47) 7-1-2011: The GOP is on vacation until the 7th of July, even though a world-altering problem with the debt ceiling is looming. But don't worry, Democratic Senator Harry Reid and his left-wing pals are staying in Washington to get some real work done.

For the entire list of GOP futility, click here.


Fox News Lies!And what manner of lie is Fox News spewing today? Well, actually, Glenn "Train Wreck" Beck signed off today so Fox News is lying a little less, though only briefly. Enjoy it while you can.

Click here to help Drop Fox from your cable system.

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Today's Google Chow.

Adam in bed with cow.

God: Okay, Adam! You win! I'll make you a companion. But it'll cost ya a rib.

Adam: Speaking of ribs...

Cow: Heeere we go.