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The Handmaidens Fail

eat the poorIt must be great, rollicking fun to be a House Republican. Evidently the only requirement apart from disagreeing publicly with everything President Obama says, even if they happen to agree with him, is to sit around all day and formulate new bits of legislation that diminish the rights of women.

Case in point is H.R. 3, the so-called "No Taxpayer Funding for Abortions Act", which just passed the House. It's basically just some tweaking of the Hyde Amendment but could be more aptly named the "Die, Poor Women, Die!" bill.

Just to bring you up to speed, the Hyde Amendment is a rider that's been attached to appropriation bills since 1976. It was a pro-life answer to Roe vs. Wade, designed to forbid the use of federal funds, mainly via Medicare, from being allocated for abortion services, except in the cases of rape, incest or danger to the life of the mother. This, as you might guess, represents but a tiny sliver of abortion services overall but conservatives have been trying to put the clamps on these loopholes for decades. Thus, H.R. 3., which offers the following exclusions:

(1) Redefining Rape: It's been redefined by the GOP as "forcible rape". That is, unless you have proof you violently resisted your attacker you're out of luck, sister. The message here is either lay back and enjoy it or get yourself killed protecting your honor. Your choice.

But suppose you're drugged and raped? Sorry, that's not the GOP's problem. That's yours. You should have thought about that before you went out and had a good, Constitutionally-protected time.

And if you're an underage female and are raped by an adult, well, then you're screwed twice according to H.R. 3.

(2) Tax Increases: Think you can hide abortion coverage in your health insurance plan? Think again. You're going to pay a lot more for the privilege, you slut. This is basically a tax increase for being a woman.

(3) Rape Audits: If you use health care that gets tax credits and your abortion falls outside the "rape/incest/life of the mother" clause you can expect a visit from the IRS Nookie Police. Yes, the GOP wants the IRS to get all up in your business, and I do mean "business".

(4) Screw Local Control: In Washington D.C., local communities use their own monies to provide abortion services, so this marvel of a bill magically redefines the D.C. local government as the federal government, meaning they can't use their own money to do whatever they want. I seem to recall a political party that championed local control. Now which one was that? Hmmmm.

This bill has absolutely no chance of passing either the Senate or the President's veto pen, so why did they bother? Two reasons... either they think this bill will ensure them the votes they need for re-election or they're totally self-deluded monsters who live in a bubble of luxury paid for by corporate oligarchs and have nothing else to offer their base except hatefulness and tax breaks.

The only thing worse than this bill was the sixteen House Democrats who voted for it. I fully realize there exists the possibility that they played a little politics and voted "aye" to soothe a conservative base but they're still major-league weasels. Here's the list:

Altmire, Boren, Costello, Critz, Cuellar, Donally, Holden, Kaptur, Kildee, Lipinski, Matheson, McIntyre, Peterson, Rahall, Ross, Shuler

Don't vote for any of 'em.



john boehnerFebruary 10, 2011: "We're going to have a relentless focus on creating jobs." - John Boehner.

So far the list of GOP accomplishments for 2011 is:

(1) Attempted curtailing of abortion rights.
(2) Attempted defunding of Planned Parenthood.
(3) Attempted defunding of NPR.
(4) Investigating Muslims.
(5) Declaring English as America's Official Language.
(6) Reaffirming "In God We Trust". Yawn.
(7) Challenging AARP's tax-exempt status.
(8) Approved defunct funding for failed religious schools.
(9) Attempt to destroy Medicaid.
(10) Attempt to destroy Planned Parenthood
(11) Shutting down the government
(12) Attempt to destroy the EPA.
(13) Attempting to eliminate financial counseling.
(14) Passed a House budget that gives $4 trillion in tax cuts to the rich.
(15) Spend $500,000 to discriminate against gays.
(16) Continued toadying for the rich.
(17) Pretending the deficit is to blame for slow job growth.
(18) De-funded SETI. (ARGH!!!!!!!)
(19) Tried to kill Chrysler two years ago... which is now going to pay back all its government loans.
(20) The Judicial Branch of the GOP, the Supreme Court, votes 5-4 to deny consumer class-action suits.
(21) Redefining rape. Yes, redefining rape.
(22) Pushing for spending caps tied to GDP. Bad idea.

Nope. No job creation here. Seriously. Not a fucking employment sausage. Move along. Move along.

I'll keep adding to this list until the Republican House does something to create jobs. I unhappily predict this is gonna be one lonnnnng list. After all, you don't get rid of a sitting president by helping the economy.


Fox News Lies!And what manner of lie is Fox News spewing today? Why, they're giving George Bush all the credit for bin Laden's assassination, even though Bush shut down the hunt for bin Laden back in 2006.

Click here to help Drop Fox from your cable system.

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Boehner: Hear me! I am your new Speaker of the House.

From this day on the official language of the U.S. will be Swedish.


In addition, if a woman is drugged and raped, she is no longer considered to have been raped!

Furthermore, all women will wear their underwear on the outside, so that the IRS can check.

Michael Moore: What's the Swedish word for "straightjacket"?

Michael Moore's "Bananas".