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Raging Pencils Comic
What happens when we die?

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Duck This!

Pro-choice posterA couple days ago I created a parody of Bruce Tinsley's crappy conservative comic strip, Mallard Fillmore. Judging by the logs that day few people seemed to care, mostly, I think, because MF is about as well-known to the internet generation as pet rocks and three-bean salad recipes.

Next time I parody Dilbert. Definitely Dilbert. His lawyers are a push-over, I hear.

Anyhoo, I got to thinking about old Brucie-pants so I visited his web site today just to see what the modern right-winger is offering his fevered public.

It was sad.

First, there is no contact information anywhere on his web site. What a fucking pussy. C'mon, Tinsley, take your hate mail like a woman. I may delete the most cretinous of comments on this site but, hey, at least I read 'em first.

Secondly, there were eight navigation links at the top of the home page and five of them were devoted to commerce. Well, if you call a cafepress store 'commerce' then yes, he was in the tschotchke business.

Yes, half of his internal links were aimed at crap no one would ever buy on a site no one except Google bots ever bothers to visit.

Seriously, Raging Pencils is a little podunk guerilla editorial operation and Tinsley has the thunderous might of King Features on his side, and yet my web site fucking trounces his in pageviews. I don't mind getting my ass handed to me daily by XKCD, SMBC and the like but this news really made me most celebratory.

To add insult to injury he's got a huge banner ad at the top of the home page and the ad it was displaying the day I visited was, like so many serpent's teeth, for Google Adwords.

But the most rewarding sight, the one that sent my Schadenfreude Sense tingling, were the fifteen thumbnails of his comics on the home page which, if clicked, would open the comic in a larger window for one's 'enjoyment'. The choices go back to 1994 but he evidently quit updating them, and this is the good part, in April of 2007, right when the economy began tanking.

Yes, you could almost feel Brucie's little neocon heart breaking through the sheer curtains of HTML as he realized it was all over for his team. The lights were turned out, the party was over and all the cheerleaders were home consoling themselves with chocolate and season three of Sex in the City.

The newspaper comics business may be a dying art but, in my opinion, hacks like Tinsley helped kill it.


Regarding today's cartoon... it seems odd to me that we have peope die on the operating table with great regularity and yet not a single individual that has been revived, though the wonders of modern medical science I might add, has regaled us with stories of brief stints in Paradise. So I guess my interpretation is as good as any.



end rant

What's in Mike's iPod?
"Across the Universe" by The Beatles

Today's amazing mystery comic is:


Raging Pencils is a universal conceit of:

Mike Stanfill, Private Hand
Mike Stanfill, Private Hand
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Today's Google Chow.

... the last thing I remember was looking up from my Blackberry into a sea of taillights. Then I woke up here.
Now that I'm here, if you created the universe 5000 years ago how come astronomers claim to see stars over 12 billion light years away?
Well, I suppose it could be that the universe really IS billions of years old. I wouldn’t know as I didn't make it. Most likely it just made itself.
Oh, I'm not God. I'm just a manifestation of your brain shutting down. Everyone does this when they're dying.
I'm... dying?
Yes. Now close your eyes. Enjoy the ride.