Oh,
Grandma, What
Big Hands You Have!
 I don't have to explain today's comic, but I so badly WANT
to.
Heh-heh-heh.
You see,
I could probably make a Raging Pencils cartoon almost
every single hour of every single day lampooning
some piece
of buffoonery
committed
by Sarah Palin.
I mean, if Exxon
ever found a way to turn pure gall into gasoline
they would find Ms. Palin to be one of the richest sources
on
the planet and have great difficulty pumping her dry.
Quite
the vivid picture, eh?
So here's today's story: Little Miss "I-Can-See-Stuff-From-My-Stuff" headlined
a tea-bagger convention this past weekend, an event in which
nearly every other advertised speaker eventually begged out
of for
reasons that varied from "WTF was
I thinking?"
to "I'm, uhhhh, washing my
hair?".
All except for Sarah. She stuck to her guns and did her patriotic
duty... and cashed her $115,000 speaking fee.
There she stood at the podium, speech in hand before a sparse
crowd of 600 attendees (each of whom had ponied up
$500 bucks for the honor), the spotlight gleaming majestically
off her Wal-Mart hair-poof,
nasally griping
about how
that danged
old
Constitution
spoils
all
her Republican
fun when it comes to torturing brown people.
(BTW, this was broadcast, live, for an hour, on CNN. Thank
you, Time-Warner, you sweet little fascists, you.)
Then she brought up the
fact that the legally-elected president, Mr. Obama,
uses a teleprompter, in much the same tone of voice one would
usually
reserve
for something the dog coughed up in the ham gravy.
Last I checked, all of our recent presidents used a teleprompter
extensively, not least of whom was good old George "Loquacious" Bush.
Or Sarah Palin herself, for that matter, as she has employed
them often in the past. It
seemed an odd brush to attempt to tar others with.
Then question-and-answer time rolled around and she began
slyly peeking at her hands. That's when a camera zoomed in
and
noted she'd
written crib notes on her hands.
On. Her. Hands.
Here's a close-up of her actual hand in question in case
you doubt my veracity (A picture the Palin campaign seems
hotly
intent upon
censoring ASAP) :
It says "Energy", "budget cuts", "tax",
and
"Lift America's spirits". Awwww. She wants to wift
our spiwwits.
Now, there's nothing illegal or immoral about this,
but the simple-minded, grade-school level of the subjects
is hysterical. It reminded me of a note that old lonesome
George
Bush passed
to Condileeza Rice during a United Nations event some years
ago:
It
says, "I
think I may need a bathroom break."
Yes, the prez is asking his handler if he can go wee-wee.
I am not making this up.
They're one and the same, these two... just a couple of empty
heads masked by perty faces, spouting what they're told,
waiting around for a chance to
pee.
The whole thing reminded me about when I was
in 7th grade and I actually did get caught similarly cribbing
notes by writing
answers
on my hand. I got sent to the principal's office, got chewed-out
for a while and then went back to class a chastened cheater.
I never did it again.
I couldn't help but feeling, knowing what I do about Palin's
peculiar educational history, that this isn't uncommon
for her. It's just that she's never been caught at it until
now. It's one thing to do it as a 13-year-old, quite another
when you're a grandmother with world domination on your mind.
=Lefty=
|
