And
Now, Our Feature Distraction
 For
those few of you still sitting on the fence about "Transformers:
Revenge of the Fallen" I offer the following snippets
of critiques gathered by Mary Pols at movieline.com:
9. “My son does not own any Transformer dolls. I’m
sorry, make that Transformer action figures. But if he did, upon
my return from Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen, I would have
taken these Hasbro toys outside, placed them under the wheels of
the car and driven back and forth across them until they were ground
into dust.” — Mary Pols, Time Magazine
8. “Michael Bay has once again transformed garbage into something
resembling a film, at least in the loosest sense: it can be run
through a projector and used to sell millions of tickets.” — Jeffrey
M. Anderson, Combustible Celluloid
7. “At 149 minutes, Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen is
six minutes longer than the 2007 noise machine from which this
sequel sprang, but those six minutes are like dog minutes.” — Michael
Phillips, Chicago Tribune
6. “Fallen indulges Bay’s excesses well past the point
of reason to deliver the male teenage cinematic equivalent of snorting
cocaine off a hooker’s ass.” — Garth Franklin,
Dark Horizons
5. “It finally occurred to me that pyrotechnics are Bay’s
pornography: massive, fiery money-shots. The bigger the fireball,
the more he gets his rocks off. I hope he had a sufficient supply
of tissues in the editing room.” — Marshall Fine, Hollywood
and Fine
4. “This is the same man who directed The Rock in 1996. Now
he has made Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen. Faust made a better
deal.” Roger Ebert, Chicago Sun-Times
3. “I don’t have much nice to say about Transformers
2, but I’m happy to see my Park Slope neighbor John Turturro
get another big paycheck.” — David Edelstein, New York
Magazine
2. “I’m certain that someday it will be acknowledged
that Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen is like the most totally
awesome artifact ever of the end of the American empire. It’s
so us, a preposterously perfect reflection of who we are: loud,
obnoxious, sexist, racist, juvenile, unthinking, visceral, and
violent… and in love with ourselves for it. […] What
we have right here is the Easter Island statue of our legacy.” — MaryAnn
Johanson, FlickFilosopher
1. “Terry Schiavo would have been bored by this bloated,
ponderous piece of shit.” — Devin Faraci, CHUD
Also from the Chicao Tribune review: "It's like watching a dryer
full of rocks for two hours."
=mike=
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