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Raging Pencils by Mike "Draw Winky" Stanfill

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Today's mystery web comic is:

start rant

A Steamy Tale of Desire

"What you see before you, my friend, is the result of a lifetime of chocolate." - Katherine Hepburn

hot chocolateFebruary offers little except short, brutally cold days. There's just not much one can do except huddle inside waiting out those 28 interminable days until finally March arrives with its promise of a green, leafy Spring.

This may sound a bit silly but I rather enjoy these cold days because it's the only time of the year I get to enjoy hot cocoa.

Yes, you can drink hot coffee in winter but most people drink hot coffee year-round, so it's nothing special. Personally, I'm not a coffee drinker so the whole Starbuck's thing completely baffles me, especially people who drink hot coffee in August. In Texas.


But wrapping one's hands around a huge, hot, steaming mug of liquid chocolate when frigid winds are howling for your blood outside the door is sublimely decadent, especially when alternating between holding and quaffing.

Actually, you don't drink cocoa... you inhale it, aspirating the heat as well as the calories. Like the buffalo, nothing gets wasted.

I don't know about you but I never use mixes. Swiss Miss is for sinners. What kind of alien being needs dipotassium phosphate or hydrogenated fucking coconut oil in their hot funky mugs of chocolate love anyway?

For me, the careful and meticulous blending of a little cocoa, a lot of sugar, a pinch of salt and however much milk the cat will allow to me to have is my equivalent of the Japanese Tea Ceremony, a secular ritual enacted as much for the soul as for the nourishment it provides.

But today, February 5th, it was 70 degrees in Dallas. Tomorrow is going to be even warmer, and the long-range forecast says clear and sunny.

I can't have my cocoa now. It'd be wasted, pointless.

I'm pissed.

Yeah, I know. I can hear the sounds of the world's smallest violin playing just for me.

In a way, the warming of this planet's atmosphere was in part exacerbated by all those coffee lovers driving to Starbuck's in their SUVs for another overpriced half-caffe espresso latte. If they'd all just stayed home and indulged in this drink of the gods we wouldn't be in this mess.

So next winter, if there is a winter, stay home and raise a cup of this divine nectar to Mother Earth. She'll thank you for it. And so will I.


end rant

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I'm still buzzed about Barack. Sue me.

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