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Raging Pencils by Mike "Lefty" Stanfill

Yes, I have sex with myself.

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Raging Pencils is a supercalifragilisticexpialidocious conceit of:

Mike Stanfill, Private Hand
Mike Stanfill, Private Hand
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Today's mystery web comic is:

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Know Your Scumbag, Part 5

alan wise and dale wolfToday we get a scumbag two-fer as CEO of Coventry Health Care, Dale Wolf (right) retired on 1-30-09. He was replaced by Alan Wise (left).

Compensation for Mr. Wise is hard to come by but Mr. Wolf made about $10 million his last year at the helm.


fuck glenn beckSpeaking of scumbags... years ago, when Glenn Beck was a morning radio jock, he and another DJ, Bruce Kelly, had an on-going feud. When Kelly's wife suffered a miscarriage Beck phoned her up a couple of days later and chided her about it, telling her that her husband couldn't do anything right.

Nice, huh?

A few years later Beck's second daughter was born with cerebral palsy.

Maybe there is a god.


One other Glenn Beck item: Since the day he called President Obama "a racist who hates white people" his television program has lost 80 advertisers, and yet he remains on the air.

That's not capitalism at work, that's propaganda.



Top Ten Things a Late Night Television Show host gets to enjoy:

(10) Shtupping the ushers
(9) Moisturizing the make-up artists
(8) Riding the old writing staff, if you know what I mean
(7) Employing a high pressure front on the weather girl
(6) Slipping the sausage to craft services
(5) Indoctrinating the interns
(4) Grinding grodies with the roadies
(3) Grilling the lunch ladies
(2) Laying pipe with Paul
(1) Screwing O'Brien


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Raging Pencils salutes the Mystery Reader of
Moncton, New Brunswick
Whoever you are, thanks for reading my lamentable little 'toon.

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Today's Google Chow.

"Hello. I'm Mike Stanfill, creator of Raging Pencils .
I couldn't help but notice how David Letterman's ratings jumped 30% after his apology about having sex with his female employees. So with that in mind, I'd like to apologize for having sex with my employees.
Although I am currently the only employee here that doesn't mean the details are any less sordid. It might disturb you to know that I have, in fact, forced myself to engage in sex with myself many times.
Many, many times.
But you have my word that I will, from this moment forward, try my best to comport myself in a manner befitting that of cartoonist's everywhere... except Stephen Pastis. That guy's nuts.
Thank you."