Clearing Things Up

Republican Senators asked Dr. Fauci an almost endless variety of idiotic questions trying to get him to rise to the perjuristic bait. I'm not sure I can do their derangement justice but here are a few more similarly stupid questions they might have asked...

(Keep in mind that these questions are for Dr. Fauci alone and no one else. Absolutely no one else. I mean, that would be silly if these weren't meant for Dr. Fauci himself.)

Dr. Fauci, why did you collude with the Russians to hurt Mr. Trump’s chances in the election?

Dr. Fauci, how much do you have to pay your wife each month to keep her from boning the pool boy?

Dr. Fauci, how many young girls did you rape on Epstein Island? And how many pool boys?

Dr. Fauci, do you prefer Huggies, Depends or the extra large heavy-flow panty liner to absorb all your greasy fecal spew?

Dr. Fauci, as your ex-wife was hurtling head-first down that flight of stairs did she use English or Czechoslovakian to call you a motherfucker?

Dr. Fauci, did you have Jeffrey Epstein murdered? And was it with the lead pipe or the candlestick?

Dr. Fauci, was that Hunts or Heinz ketchup you smeared all over your face after the faked assassination attempt?

Dr. Fauci, after observing you all these years I just have to ask..... what the fuck is wrong with you?

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New reporting from Fauci's diary reveals that former President Obama told the good doctor that Donald Trump was "a hopeless idiot and a pathological liar", and that his son, Donald, Jr. was "a fucking moron". He followed his remarks by apologizing for the crude language.

Best President ever.

-Lefty