comics every Monday, Wednesday & Friday.
Raging Pencils by
Mike "Naked Shorting" Stanfill
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"If I can't dance, I don't want to be part of your revolution." - Emma Goldman
Story Short: Filling up all that dreaded
is demanding a trillion dollar blank check but none of the money is apparantly
meant to help Americans save their homes. I think these swine have forgotten
that Americans can get along fine without Wall Street. It's Wall Street
get along without Americans.
Fuck Wall Street. Fuck Ben Bernanke. Fuck Henry Paulson. They have failed.
Let's all hold our breath and wait until the adults get here next January
to figure this all out. It is high time for something new, not the same
There was a time, quite recently in fact, when Fannie Mae and Freddy
Mac were doing just fine, making a profit, doing their job. Then Bush
agencies because they wouldn't offer sub-prime mortgages. Thier replacements,
Bush's cronies, were happy to offer sub-primes
Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac's failure was not of their own making. It
Here are two of the biggest lies that Republicans tell:
1) Anyone can become rich and successful if they just put their mind
to it. (Amended from becoming President because let’s face it,
most people don’t want the grief of the office. It doesn’t
pay; we just happen to always elect millionaires.)
Since this statement is demonstrably false, it has a companion Great
2) Money doesn’t buy you happiness. All those rich people you admire
would trade it all in a heartbeat for the simple pleasures you now enjoy.
They don’t, and they could, but trust me, they would. In a heartbeat.
it that Pandora, wife of Epimetheus, was given a special box by Zeus
who instructed her to keep it always closed. But, as we all know she
prey to her
own curiousity and opened the container, releasing Greed, Vanity, Slander,
Lying and Envy, all the basic platforms of the Republican Party. That
last bit is not entirely a joke but, as the legend goes on to say, Pandora
closed the jar quickly enough to catch one last entity ----
Free Bonus Snark!
McCain? A champion of regulation? Let's
hear it in his own words.
Crap Through An Orwellian Goose:
The Editorial Excretions of Mallard Fillmore
How does he do it? How DOES Bruce Tinsley,
creator of Mallard Fillmore, get it wrong
so often and so consistently?
If there's an attack on a school by a gun-wielding
nut you can bet old Brucie-pants has written
another pro-gun "gag".
If another Republican senator is caught in a bathroom with a goat, there's
no doubt lil' Brucie is trumpeting superior conservative values.
Today? Well, the latest Washington Post/ABC poll revealed that
Sarah Palin's favorables have dropped 22 points among independent women,
from 65% to 43%. And there's EVER so much more yet to learn about little
Have a safe trip back to Alaska in your brand new luxury jet, Sarah,
you scheming shrew.
Bruce Tinsley, ladies and gentlemen. Master of the ironically unfunny
Enjoying this? Well, there's more Mallard Fillmore snark here.
I can't believe I'm doing this. He'll never fall for it.
No, go for it, man. You can so totally do this!
Shh! It's ringing!
Man! This is so great!
Hello? Is this George Bush? REally? Okay, um, I would like a trillion
dollars and, um, like, I want it now. Yeah. Yeah. Uh-huh. Okay.
So, what'd he say?
He said okay.
Duuuuuuuude! So whaddaya wanna do now?
Ever since The Sopranos went off the air Ben Bernanke and Henry Paulson
have had a lot of time on their hands.