"My final point about alcohol, about drugs,
about pornography; what business is it of yours what
I do, read, buy, see, fuck or take into my body as
long as I don't harm another human being whilst on
this planet? And for those of you having a little moral
dilemma on how to answer this, I'll answer for you.
None of your fucking business! Take that to the bank,
cash it and take it on a vacation outta my fucking
life." - Bill Hicks
Story Short: If you think the war on drugs is about drugs,
then you're on drugs.
Some day, on a cable channel, probably one owned by
Rupert Murdoch, there will be a program called "Buncha
It will be an hour
stories, quips, humorous asides, anecdotes and snappy rejoiners
It will receive an Emmy for best comedy presentation.
At that point all
media will cease to function as this program will officially
denote the point at which popular culture hit rock bottom.
Mankind will suddenly rediscover clog dancing and all wars
will end as everybody
will be too tired afterwards to do anything else.
Yeah, I know. Whatta buncha shit.
In case you haven't given it much thought, it's time to end
this senseless war on drugs. We lost, folks. Even though
we threw trillions of dollars at the so-called problem marijuana
is currently the number one cash
crop in America. Also, the Bill of Rights has been reduced
to tatters since this nonsense began as a means of making
drug arrests easier, but all it's done is turn this country
a virtual police
state as the cops literally now have the power to do whatever
under the guise of intervention.
Look, our precious children are going to smoke pot and
they're going to drink alcohol and they're going to smoke
no matter what we do. If we're serious about
slowing down the levels of addiction in this
at the problem realistically.
First, outlaw all
commercials for alcohol. You can still buy and drink what
ever you like but let's cut out all this massive and expensive
psychological warfare aggrandizing yeast poop. And tax that
shit to death! Let's take advantage of alcoholics the same
way we do cigarette smokers. Let's apply the taxes to teacher
Second, quit devoting zillion of
column inches in gossip magazines for the bravery that celebrities
have shown in giving up alcohol/heroin/meth/Nyquil for the
Finally, once they're of legal age let people use
all the drugs they want. But while they're young, drive your
kids through the bowery
now and again and show them the effects of being chemically
stupid. I'm sure the glamorous reek of urine and the sensuality
missing teeth may give your kids a clue that, uh-oh, perhaps
accountancy really isn't that bad.
I guarantee you, we'll still have the same addiction rate
as before but you'll never read another story about about
police errently knocking down some old lady's door at 3AM
and shooting her to death because she was too old and too
deaf to understand what was happening.
if you're really interested in shielding your young 'uns
from drugs and alcohol, move to Iran.