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Raging Pencils by Mike "Running Gag" Stanfill

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Raging Pencils is a minor personal conceit of:

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Mike Stanfill, Private Hand
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Today's mystery web comic is:

start rant

You May Not Kiss the Bride.

"You do not need the Bible to justify love, but no better tool has been invented to justify hate." - Richard A. Weatherwax

zombie weddingThe following is something I found on the Daily Kos. It is a reaction to all those religious knuckleheads out there who have been using the Bible to deny homosexuals the same civil rights as heteros anyone else.

Basically, if the Bible is your guide to the perfect marriage, then you've been doing it wrong.

To wit:

A. Marriage in the United States shall consist of a union between one man and one or more women. (Gen 29:17-28; II Sam 3:2-5)

B. Marriage shall not impede a man's right to take concubines in addition to his wife or wives. (II Sam 5:13; I Kings 11:3; II Chron 11:21)

C. A marriage shall be considered valid only if the wife is a virgin. If the wife is not a virgin, she shall be executed. (Deut 22:13-21)

D. Marriage of a believer and a non-believer shall be forbidden. (Gen 24:3; Num 25:1-9; Ezra 9:12; Neh 10:30)

E. Since marriage is for life, neither this Constitution nor the constitution of any State, nor any state or federal law, shall be construed to permit divorce. (Deut 22:19; Mark 10:9)

F. If a married man dies without children, his brother shall marry the widow. If he refuses to marry his brother's widow or deliberately does not give her children, he shall pay a fine of one shoe and be otherwise punished in a manner to be determined by law. (Gen 38:6-10; Deut 25:5-10)

G. In lieu of marriage, if there are no acceptable men in your town, it is required that you get your dad drunk and have sex with him (even if he had previously offered you up as a sex toy to men young and old), tag-teaming with any sisters you may have. Of course, this rule applies only if you are female. (Gen 19:31-36)


The following is an actual syndicated comic strip called State of the Union, created by Carl Moore, a supposedly "fallen" liberal:

racist cartoon
I don't have to point this out, but I will anyway:

1) Dave Letterman is not going to be making race jokes. That is Carl Moore’s job.

(1b) Chris Rock is not the central-freaking-clearing-house for black humor. That’s Oprah’s job.

(2) As much as Carl “I am not a racist” Moore may think, racial humor is never “fair game”. In fact, kicking Carl Moore’s racist butt is not only fair game, it should become our national past-time.

(2.1) Chris Rock would never say “turkey”. No one says “turkey”, especially Rod Blagojevich.

Even more seriously, write Creator’s Syndicate and complain about this racist moron. The email address is


end rant

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Bonus Comedy
Wanda Sykes on gay marriage.

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