The Actual, Honest, 100% True, No Bullshit Transcript of the Trump/Ukraine Phone Call

Festering Orange Bolus of Self-Pity: "If you Democrats keep focusing on my 'crimes' we'll never get anything done in this country."

House Democrats: "What? We've passed over a hundred bills for things like gun control, election security and raising the minimum wage but Mitch McConnell won't bring them to the Senate floor for a vote."

Festering Orange Bolus of Self-Pity: "Just do what I do. Appoint his wife to a government position that'll benefit her family's shipping business then he'll do anything you want. That's how my government works. Why are you writing that down?"

House Democrats: "Oh, no reason. We just like to write stuff."

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As I watched that rambling, idiotic Trump speech today I felt it could only end with either "Fuck you all! I'm outta here!" or "Congress is being dismissed! Bow down to your Chosen One!"

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Take this with a grain of salt but it gave me a reflex high.

A Republican consultant said on MSNBC today that he was told by a sitting Republican Senator that if there was a secret vote on impeachment at least 30 Senate Republicans would vote "Yea."

But they're Republican Senators and it's not a secret vote. The consultant might as well be telling stories about frogs supplying ferry boat rides for scorpions.

We can always hope, though.

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Someone in the White House sent what is purportedly its talking points about the Ukraine phone call... to House Democrats. Then they asked for it back, pretty please, with sugar on it.

Still hiring the best people, I see.

What I'd love to scan is the CC list. It would be truly illuminating to see who was supposed to get a copy of that thing.

=Lefty=